These Viceroy Menthols are disgusting. Every time I smoke them my tummy does flips (the bad kind) and makes me wanna run to the toilet. God damn Singapore and its cigarette regulations. WHERE'S THE MARLBORO

Gotta not spend whatever little moolah I have. Only just tapped into the $100 GST credit yesterday. I can finally use my local debit card again! Thanks gahmen!

I suppose I should update about my Singapore adventures soon.. I'm glad to be back but i'm already looking forward to heading back to Melbourne. But I can't till SHIT GETS SETTLED YAWL.

In other news i've covered several bases since arriving. Been to Zouk once, and I hope nobody close to me asks me to go there ever again.. Went to IKEA today, had meatballs. Been to Simpang several times, ate several things, drank several milos. Amy could not wrap her head around the idea of selling milo as a drink, cos it's something people just drink at home.

Now that she mentioned it, it is pretty peculiar. But how could it be? It's just too awesome to just drink at home.

day before the bomb went off

Bye civilization, hello David Cooper.

2 weeks. I wonder how they'll pan out. It's exciting but i'm still afraid.

I hope his family likes me.

In other news, less than 3 weeks before I fly home. I can't wait to see everyone. But I should buy Christmas presents before I leave.

Time of the month, I WILL you to arrive earlier.

*thinks really really hard to make it happen*

I DON'T WANT MY PERIOD RIGHT AFTER EXAMS. TIMING FAIL.

But it looks likely. :(

Exams almost over. My brain has just about reached that point of burning out.

My post-exam schedule is filling up very very fast. I would like to spend a solid 24 hours in bed at some point, so I gotta pencil it in somewhere.

Wednesday, after Biochem - End of Exam party till some ridiculous time in the morning.

Hangover intensity prediction = room spinning the next day, survive on teh o, cigarettes and sleep. May throw up at the sight/smell of alcohol.

Thursday - Ref. Wednesday hangover. Probably have Bidina over for some happy times.

Friday - Lara's 21st. Cocktail themed, attempt to look extremely hot but fail to.

Hangover intensity prediction = feel rather shitty but shittiness alleviates when drinking resumes.

Saturday - EMPRA gig. If I have not convinced Henry and Flynn to go I may bail entirely but I don't mind going to see them cos everyone I haven't seen in ages will be there. May proceed to Bridie's after.

Hangover intensity prediction = Mild - Moderate, feel rather shitty but eat loads instead of drinking more.

Sunday - Depending on Saturday, head to Camberwell first thing in the morning. Get some good buys, stock up on Christmas presents, wander around Target for a bit then head home for some well deserved sleep.

That's just the remaining half of this week. Jesus. Let's hope i'll still be alive to drag myself onto my return flight home.

11 more days

To the end of exams. God my brain is SO tired. This time last semester I went to see Asami. But last semester was SO easy compared to this shite. Struggling to get revision finished as it is.

11 days. I need to get my shit sorted. Horse stud, fix carpet, move furniture, move house. My brain hurts thinking about it all.

dreams of lucy in the sky with diamonds

Oh what a fantastic day that was. Wish I could do it all over again.

Tangerine says:

i miss hearing joy division at your place

you remember your suprise

we were playing it in your living room

I'm really starting to miss home so much. Hard to believe i've gone a year (almost) without being back. To most people this isn't a big deal, but it's a first for me. Then again, if I didn't have a ticket home I probably wouldn't be thinking about it or missing it as much. I'm glad i'm going back regardless. Dog and the ratties are getting old and I want to see them again, seeing how the next time I fly back to Melbourne I probably won't head home for 2 years.

Marco polo/hide and seek in a canola field in the darkness, with some of greatest people i've met since i've come to Australia. Definitely one of my favourite memories for many, many years to come. Hope the farmer doesn't get too mad when he finds cigarette butts, a quarter bottle of whisky and possibly a rolly chair in his field. I'm sorry we trampled on your canola.

HEhehe

god i'm so confused

Gosh the weather was just perfect today. The sun's almost gone down and it's not even cold! Feels like summer. Henry, Cooper and I skipped an entire lecture just to sit outside in the sun. It really was so lovely. I wish it could just stay this way.

Tomorrow we head to Dookie, bright and early at 730am. It's gonna be 4 days of farms, vet talks and fatigue. On the other hand, 4 days of awesome friends, booze, free food and adventures (and with a small joint thrown into the mix) sounds completely worth it.

But in all seriousness I am looking forward to seeing all the different types of farms. Should be good stuff. I had a test this morning and just did mediocre. With the exception of this test, I feel like the effort I put in is somehow not enough, I just keep getting mediocre marks. Secondary school, JC, it all feels like child's play compared to this. I won't stop trying, and I know i'll be a great vet. Just need to get over things like Physiology and Biochemistry. Blargh. Exam blues are on its way.

Went to visit Aresha in Sydney over the 2nd week of mid-sem break. Had a lot of fun, drank way too much and spent way too much of her money. Haha. Sorry sister. I will pay you sister maintenance when I start earning big moolah.

the hill of content

Ahh, things were so much easier a year ago. How things have changed. It's a lovely picture regardless.

When Roti was sleeping just now, I could hear her making dainty noises. Like little sighs. It was adorable. Now she's awake and pooped next to the shelf. This week was supposed to be mega study week, but dear lord how that has failed. The hangover that resulted from last night's ridiculous adventure put me out of commission the entire day today.

I'm not gonna go into the nitty gritty details, but it involved a lot of crazy promises, finding random doors, stealing shit, Bidina falling thru a ceiling and down 2 floors (!!!!), me trying to barter a sparkly purple bow for more packs of spicy sauce, throwing a cucumber thru a window of someone's house... God. It was such effort to get Bidina to the hospital cos she couldn't move her arm much and it hurt. She really didn't want to go and I was being annoying about it.

Had an awesome lunch at Crossways of Malaysian tofu curry and jasmine rice, with PAPPADUM! It was so good. Especially that first bite. The hangover made finishing it a real effort so I didn't.

Fuck. Got nothing done today. Tomorrow is mega finish biochem study day. MUST!

holidays!

Some assignments out of the way, holidays have started, i'm going to Sydney next week.. A jog now would do wonders but my laziness is getting the better of me. And it's cold too. I'd rather have a smoke but i've reached a point where I'm starting to question these decisions.

Smoke vs. A Jog. The former is beginning to disgust me, relative to the latter that is.

One and a half semesters so far and vet has been out of this world. Sometimes, the things you love make you cuss, swear, doubt yourself and tear your hair out. And sometimes, those same things bring you ridiculous amounts of happiness that give you that great bursting feeling in your chest. That's love isn't it? That's what vet's been like to me. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Studying's a drag but that's just a universal sentiment I can never run away from. Despite having to study 24/7 (which is what I.... haven't been doing), it's a small price to pay.

But apart from school, general happiness levels are at an all time high. I'm so happy I don't think about you anymore, effortlessly. No boy drama so far this semester, unlike the past 1.5 years and I hope it stays that way for whatever's left of it. Moved on the bigger and better things, holding myself back in ways I never used to.

Whenever I wanted something, I never waited around.. I just went for it. This was my mistake.. And it always hurt me in the end. But keep in mind the context.. I think in life we should never wait around for things to happen. We are the ones to make it happen. However, when it comes to matters of the heart, i'll start taking precautions now.

We'll see how this situation unravels. I predict a kick in the ass sometime in the future. I don't care if i'm a bitch now, i'm staying guarded.

simple days

I can safely say that now, I am A-Okay.

It's a good feeling I got going on. I'm well and truly happy. Spring is finally here, the weather's warming up and leaves are growing, so that might have something to do with it. But in all seriousness, the emo days are gone for good. I can't believe I let it affect me the way it did, very disappointing.

New developments have.. developed and i'm taking things one step at a time, while still going with the flow. The walls are built high but once I find something truly great, it'll be the stuff of legends.

I feel the need to shed. Ok that sounds weird, but rather.. the need to moult. Shed the sad, heartbroken, mildly depressed skin of before and be myself again. I know, I really need to get over myself right. But I don't quite know how? The depressing weather has made it all worse.

I feel like i'm being weighed down by what I was before, and i'm struggling to stand up and be the funbubble I used to be. I'm almost there, so close, yet so far. I thrive on meeting people and having fun and all i've been doing is sitting in bed but it's changing slowly. Today I had afternoon beers with Percy and Paul like the old times last year. The sun was out for about an hour or so and it was great. 2 jugs of beer turned into 5 :D

Spring starts next week. Winter's finally over with the start of the week at 18-19degrees. It's about fuckin' time. This weekend onwards, NEW ME! Starting with tomorrow's Into The Wild booze cruise down the Yarra. Gettin my mojo back, bit by bit.

Apart from recent injuries i've been feeling pretty good. My cast was just taken off, and although it's not 100%, I can do most day-to-day things without putting too much strain on my right hand. At the very least now I can write!

This week, I will study/do some form of work everyday excluding Wednesday (Paul's birthday surprise) and Saturday (work + ASAMI'S EP LAUNCH!). I sold 17 tickets to the launch. I swear I could've hit 30, but the gig's now sold out. So it's gonna be really really awesome.

Was supposed to go to work Saturday morning, but I passed out in the toilet. I got it going pretty rough I have to say. I even broke the glass toothbrush holder I bought, and I don't know how. But I heard it shatter as I fell. My head hit the door frame and I'm not sure at which point I blacked out. My head hurt so bad I had to miss work. Seriously... Am I suay or what? 2 days after I finally regain almost normal use of my hand, I injure my head (non-seriously).

Suayyy...

oh right hand, how i have missed you so...

THURSDAYYYY ALDFJSDFKLJDLKFJ I will be able to SHOWER like a normal person!

remember

Souviens toi, ce jour l, toi et moi

productive day is productive

....Somewhat.

I paid an overdue electricity bill (rates up by 25% WHAT IN PERFECT HELL :(( )

I cleared old papers and bills, and organised last semester's notes to the best of my one-armed ability. I have yet to file any of these notes which I should, but given my current situation, I can't.

I folded and put away my not-so-freshly laundered clothes. They were hung up to dry the past week and a half. Don't be fooled, it doesn't take that long to dry clothes in winter.

I filled out my work roster for 5 weeks starting 6th August. Money desperately needed, although at the expense of what little social life I already have. If I get all the shifts I requested, i'll have 14, which should make a sizeable bundle of moolah in preparation for my 2011 trip to London but knowing my arse luck i'll probably get around half that number. I must manage my time properly this semester.

Can't wait to get this fucking cast offfff..... 2 more weeks!!

yet again, the holidays are drawing to a close and it's back to the daily grind for the next 4 months. sad to say my cast will remain on for the first 2 weeks but thankfully it'll be taken off before the first major practical.

the next few days leading up to the first week of school will consist of heavy drinking and tidying up of the apartment. last week, shockingly enough, a first for me and it probably doesn't happen very often, i picked up with a conversation about dairy cattle, pasture and weather. in my defense, he was good looking, dressed well and smelt really good.

i don't quite know how often i'll come across sexy intelligent city men who grew up on farms out in the sticks, but heck, i relished the moment.

This is probably one of the most disturbing amazing videos i've ever seen.

hello my pretties, you shall be mine in due time (if the other bidder doesn't have a ridiculous reserve price)

i can't afford it but fuck it i don't care anymore.

this is shitshitshit

I never thought it'd ever happen. but i broke my wrist a week and a half ago.

2 days alone was pretty hard, today i can't even bring myself to get out of bed. it's 430pm and the sun's already starting to set. i've spent a stupid amount of money the past week so now i'm forced to derive new ways of cooking dinner.

my apartment is in an epic mess, and roti's made a royal mess of the bathroom. when paul followed me to the hospital the first time round he helped carry my jacket and bag out of what i thought was being really nice, only to turn around and say that i needed a boyfriend to do these things... albeit jokingly..

it struck a nerve and one week has passed and i need someone more than ever. i feel vulnerable in every sense and i really wanted to go back to singapore for the first time since i've been here but fuck me, the one time i want to go home, i can't.

i don't quite know what to do with my time.. i can't go out and shoot, missed out on 3 weeks of farmwork - i really wanted to see the lambing - can't go to a bar without feeling overly self conscious, and i really don't enjoy staying home for extended periods of time. garrr... and paul left today.. theres no one left!

My amazing bed now has a creak. And it's not the sort that creaks when you make obvious movements like getting in and out of bed, or turning in your sleep. It's a subtle creak, like when you make the slightest shifty movements in your sleep like moving your hand or adjusting your comforter or rubbing your foot on the mattress.

I believe that's the more annoying of the two.

It hasn't helped that sleep has been horrible lately. I find my ability to just sit and think increases with every thought. I could lie in bed for HOURS and think now. The second I get woken up abruptly in the morning, I start thinking. Even if i'm tired and want to go back to sleep, I think for another 2 hours. Thinking... Overthinking. It's exhausting me.

Maybe it's the feng shui of my room. Lately i've been thinking (so what's new) about changing things up a bit. Well not really, maybe just move a few posters around. I don't really know about feng shui anyway, i'm just talking out of my ass.

I feel I am, like everyone else, entitled to the simple things that make people happy. Ephraim berated me several weeks ago about the same thing i've been yapping and whinging about the past 2 months. He made me question why I was so unhappy with life in the first place, and that I don't need people to make me happy.... I should just do the things that make me happy and to be reliant on someone for that is pretty dangerous especially if they could just walk out on you at any time.

But i'm not asking for much. From waking up next to someone almost every other day to waking up to that empty space left behind has messed my head up in ways I can't explain. I guess maybe because it's something new to me, the novelty of it all was addictive. And let's face it, i'm addicted to warm fuzzies like hard drugs.

I suppose its more than that too. Just to be myself. The silly, cock-talking retard with someone who thinks its brilliant counts for a lot. I want to be my silly self with someone all the time.

All that aside... I was actually doing really well without all this as of late, focusing on exams and study, enjoying life and whatnot till I got his message and I felt a complete regression. Back to those stages of resentment of both him and myself.

He's completely incapable of hurting someone intentionally, but I can't be hanging on like this. It's hardly worth it anymore.

Exam time now. Once today's paper is over I will probably need an eternal nap before starting study on the next FOUR FUCKIN' PAPERS.

i am SO tired.

Exams start tomorrow. FINALLY. I just want to get this over with and do nothing for several weeks. All this studying has been a serious brain drain and I will continue to complain about this for the next 3.5 years. So you have been warned.

But anyway, it's winter now and it's starting to suck less than it did a week ago. Only because I gave myself the night off on Tuesday and Saturday to give my brain a well-deserved break.

Anyway, on to less boring things. My dad, en route to Canada decided to stop by London to visit Aresha. This is the photo that shames all tourist photos;

CAPTAIN GOPAL GOES TO LONDON (FEATURING WELL SEASONED POT BELLY)

Complete with the hat from Down Undah!

perfection

Why. Why are things not staying in my head after studying them for hours. My brain is like a sieve.

3 more days to exams, 2 weeks to sweet bliss.

During big study periods, one should never neglect taking care of their skin (I never bother).

So after taking a lovely long hot shower I put on a face mask and came up with the brilliant idea of calling someone on skype and scaring the living shit out of them.

And THEN I realised it's now 3am and hardly anyone will be up this late on a Sunday.

Oh well.

This past week of hardcore studying is doing my head in. The last time I left the house was on Friday for end of semester drinks. Yikes. Despite the unspoken rule of SWOT VAC week of turning into a complete shut-in, I will be taking a break on Sunday to go see Ephraim and his band jam it out (feat. MY DJEMBE :D). At least it's being put to some use. I wish I had another one so people can come over and we can dish out beats together.

Another post-exam plan has cropped up. Thanks to Bidina and her resourcefulness, she's found tickets to Sydney on Tiger Airways for $20 each way. It's unconfirmed but it'll be one hell of a trip flying there with just a passport and wallet and coming back the next day hopefully in one piece.

The adventures that have transpired the past 6 months have been mindblowing. Let's see what the next 6 months have in storeee....

mmmm

Skins Season 4 on Youtube yay yay yay yayayayayayayyyay exams in a week and a half nonononnoo

whoa 3 posts in a day

SO. This is what it's come to. How i've chosen to deal with heartbreak, is to simply avoid it.

The way i'm avoiding it may not be the most ideal. Heck, it's definitely not. But it's not hurting anyone, i'm not hurting myself and everyone wins. I'm just tired of all the bullshit.

Let's see where this'll take me.

But in the meantime, it's crunch time at the moment. So time to study first.

summertime in france

2011.

Fuck I hate winter.

do you have the chops to be a vet?

Then answer the following questions.

Appropriate personal protective equipment (clothing) for working with beef cattle includes:

Shorts, singlet and sports shoes to assist you in rounding up the cattle at maximum speed substantial work boots, overalls and a hat in hot weather. swim wear as it is easier to hose yourself down at the end of the day rather than it is to try and wash cattle faeces, etc. off of your overalls base ball cap worn backwards to prevent hitting your head on overhead steel bars on the cattle crush operating handle.

The bare midriff look is appropriate for working on farms for both male and female veterinary students in summer since this type of dress:

prevents you from getting heat exhaustion during the hot weather, prevents your clothing from being snagged on any exposed bolt or wire around the cattle yards, this preceding statement is incorrect, the bare midriff look is inappropriate dress for farm work prevents excessive washing of overalls

When holding a gate for drafting cattle you should: Concentrate on what is occurring in the yards, looking at the person moving cattle and monitoring individual animals behaviour in the yard Just watch what is happening in the immediate vicinity of the person working with the cattle Turn your back on the gate for periods of time to chat with other people and/or daydream about the upcoming weekend Let go of the gate and turn your back if there is anything that distracts you. When injecting vaccine into sheep, if you accidentally vaccinate yourself you should: Panic and run screaming round the sheep yard Use a knife to cut the area open where you injected yourself and try to suck out the vaccine Read the packet and label insert and check what the manufacturer directs you to do in the case of inadvertent self-innoculation, then consult your doctor if required. Not worry about it According to Worksafe and the Victorian Government, the most frequent cause of fatal accidents for people on farms in Victoria is:

The tractor or all terrain vehicle (four wheel motor-bike) Agricultural motor bike Artificially-reared Friesian, Jersey or Ayrshire bull Bottle reared adult pet ram. Neurotic hen with a taste for blood Disclaimer : This quiz in no shape or form should determine whether or not you should become a vet.

Every time you throw a fit I can't decide if you're full of it

Every time you state your case the more I want to punch your face

brr

It's REALLY starting to get chilly around here. And so far i've gone pretty far without bringing out my heater! Or my thermals. I think I should get an award. Just for tonight, my increased tolerance might have something to do with a newly acquired hot water bottle stuffed down my pyjama pants...

I honestly wonder how I survived 5 weeks in London during the big freeze if i'm finding this cold. I'm already missing the heat.. I never had too much trouble sleeping, even when it was 30 degrees at night with just the fan. Heck, Indian Summer was great. Just the right amount of heat and cool autumn breezes. Mmmm... London, summer 2011!! Fingers crossed.

Exams are rolling up and everyone's buckling down getting their study on. As i've been as well. Been studying consistently the past TWO WHOLE WEEKS (what, really?) and will continue doing so for the next 5 weeks till the end of exams. 6 papers... I WILL be prepared much unlike last year.

Post-exam plans are already underway. Most probably already know, I will 110% not be heading home this winter as i'll be spending 15 days on a sheep farm assisting in vetty things like births, and shit scooping.

Camping.. Might pass though. Who wants to sleep in the wintery cold outdoors?

the sound of failure

She is starting to live her life

From the inside out
Sound of failure calls her name
She's decided to hear it out

Because she's too scared, and she
She can't pretend
To understand where it begins or ends
Or what it means to be dead
It's just a sound going through your head
Let them go on, let them go on

....

missing you muchly

It's totally not fair how this has panned out. Outraged. Will protest.

My last cigarette is sitting next to me. To be smoked at some point in time today. Sigh. If I put together all the boxes of cigarettes i've happily given away... I'd say it would come up to about just less than one carton. I need an influx of Singaporeans into Melbourne and I need them now. To buy me cartons of Marlboro Menthol Lights.

Yesterday was my very first university ball. Vet Ball 2010, Derelicte themed. I spent give-or-take around 2 hours folding a kawasaki rose out of newspaper and thought it was a winner. Until I got to Lincoln On Toorak to find Melanie in a DIY maxi dress made out of blankets and scraps of fabric.

She spent about 5 days sewing it together in total.

Towards the end of the night I found myself standing close enough to Alysha to hold her hair back, but far enough to narrowly avoid the projectile chunks of our 3 course dinner splashing against the sidewalk. The rest of my night followed in a similar fashion. At 3am, after bringing Alysha to a friend's house in Southbank to crash, I quietly walked across the bridge over the river towards Flinders, smoking, and taking in the sights.

As dangerous as it would be for a girl in a cocktail dress and heels to be walking around alone in the middle of the night, this weird kind of sadness overwhelmed me. I felt so horribly empty. Hmph. I wonder now if I ever felt okay and just at ease with being on my own. I don't ever recall just feeling happy with being by myself. Then again it sucks either way cos nothing has worked out in my favour the past year and a half.

Can someone please tell me how to be happy?

how things have changed from approximately a year ago..

From hardly being in school, to being in school ALL THE TIME. Typical Melbourne student life isss.... having about MAX 20 contact hours in uni a week. Which is rarely the case for most courses. This time last year I had Thursdays off and 4 hour days (or less).

Now i'm in school 8 hours a day. Not really complaining though, oh, except the SHITLOAD of work. I'm starting to question whether it's humanly possible for a retard like me to get through this.

Next.

If it wasn't for Jai last year, I wouldn't have met Ephraim and Sanny. Wouldn't have met the Final Eclipse. Or gone through emotional roller coasters with Rajiv. But then I wouldn't have met Percy or Asami and her lovely band, as well as a whole load of other music people the past year if it wasn't for her. But this time last year I hardly had any friends. Weekends were spent watching Superbad amongst a small pool of movies I had. Now every weekend's been made of awesome. I just need to watch the beers.. Been drinking so much it's coming out of my ears.

My financial situation is about the same. I wouldn't consider that a sad situation - i've bought pretty much everything I need in this apartment and couldn't be happier. I finally bought a 2nd set of sheets. Just a pimp as the last set.

And now i'm actually meeting Australians! Well they're all in my course but somehow all (well.. most) of them have been fantastic friends so far. We've had so much fun so far and it's only half of first semester. Think another 3 and a half years! Hope we don't get sick of each other.

Love life is just as dramatic as ever. But what the fuck's new? I miss the stability of a relationship.

I meant for this post to be deeper and darker than this, but I feel like my brain is made of jelly, after unsuccessfully trying to bulldoze my way through 50 pages of laboratory instructions for 6 hours of dog dissection over the next 2 days. On the flipside, Asami's playing a gig tomorrow night so I can't wait! Especially after 4 hours of lectures in school, finishing with a 3 hour dissection that smells like death... Exciting.

ultimate geekdom is possibly....

Feeling perfectly content tinkering around on Photoshop, while listening to the Smiths and looking forward to watching The Mighty Boosh afterwards, completely alone.

Perfectly content.

And so.. life moves on.

i'm floating

Disclaimer: Am not high.

And I don't mean floating in a good way... just that uneasiness like you've lost your footing walking down steps. Just waiting for the impact to hit you.

Vet school has been great, I swear there's nothing like it. It's been nice making new friends and we've all bonded so well. 2 more weeks to Easterss... and my 21st birthday! It's gonna be epic, I feel it in my bones.

Work's starting to catch up with me, so the Easter break will be a major catch up session for me. It hasn't been bad so far, but I can't lose steam so fast either.

Past couple of days have been a shock to the system but i'm not gonna let it bother me like I did last year. If all the heartbreak from before has taught me anything, it's that I need to keep things in check instead of putting it off and digging holes for myself to get caught in. We can only run away from the truth for so long. As long as you don't ruin any music for me, we'll be cool, eventually.

Now I just need to wash my sheets.

Jesus fucking christ Aruna. Didn't you say no more musicians? What the fuck is wrong with you?

And how many times do you have to fall asleep drunk on beaches till you realise its a bad idea?

I was going to watch the news, but the TV reception is busted. So is my Foxtel. That's just great.

HOLY FUCKIN SHIT

Seriously crasy tings. The hailstones were half the size of my fist at first and was hammering my roof. The hailstones got smaller progressively and then it started monsoon raining so bad I couldn't see the CBD buildings from my balcony. And I live just next to these buildings.

Apparently Southern Cross was evacuated cos the roof broke and Village Cinema at Crown had a leaky roof. Everywhere's gonna be flooded now.. Jesus I can't imagine the magnitude of damage everywhere else now. I'm thanking god now for keeping my home intact.

Gonna watch the news now.

sing sang sung

I can't stop listening to Air's latest album, Love 2.

The past 2 weeks i've learnt that the next 4 years are gonna be tough as hell. But i've waited this long, i've worked hard to get here and wanted it so bad I honestly can't see myself doing anything that I will pull through. Even if it means being... CONSISTENT! Last 2 years have been great, all the crazy, out of this world shit i've been doing but now it's time to get real.

Can't run away from it anymore. As much as i'd love to drop everything, change my name, busk for a living and live in Paris with a random boy I WILL HANG IN THERE even during the toughest parts. Cos its not over till I say it is. Besides I don't think I have any talents that'd be lucrative enough for busking...

Tough as they said it would be, I think it was a good idea going for orientation and all. I'm quite excited to start learning. Learning how to be a VET! It makes me feel tingly inside.

epic

"Hi- I mean.. Bonjour! Je voudrais une... uh... ticket, plea- si'l vous plait.."

Paris was unforgettable. Hardly took any photos, didn't buy anything, but it was perfection. Updates soon.

I have waited YEARS FOR THIS DAY!

FINALLY!

let's bitch let's bitch let's bitch about each other

Let us talk about and judge things we do not fully understand.

Let us fool around with the concept of finding the truth, let's ride on the lies.

Let us take the easy way out, let's talk behind each other's backs.

Let us stay juvenile, because really, what's the incentive behind maturity?

Let's bitch about each other, because we used to be friends.

after my 2nd week in London.....

.....I'm starting to miss warm weather very badly.

These 2 weeks have been crazy! But it's been great so far. Christmas was low-key which felt unfamiliar, as it's always been insane back in 407 Upper Changi Road every single year. But I got to wear my hand knitted '60s jumper.

New Year's Eve was brilliant. Things were going pretty shitty.. We found a nice pub in Leicester Square but completely didn't realise it was 12am at all. Had a few drinks, saw a few jackasses here and there and as we were about to leave.. If Aresha didn't say it, we'd have gone home feeling quite bleh.

She pointed out this one pretty cute Eurasian looking guy sitting nearby with a group of boys. All dressed quite well and not hitting on any girls so we could only assume they were gay. On an alcohol-fuelled impulse (just love that phrase) I grabbed the arm of one of his friends passing by, a Chinese dude. Asked him if his friend was available and whether he'd like to speak to Aresha, much to her extreme horror (I could tell by the look on her face).

Turns out the whole table was a group of guys from Paris in London for a couple of days. Got the cute Eurasian to talk to Aresha, so the rest of the French boys were left talking to me and Renu. Who by the way I conveniently forgot to blog about, is my cousin from the States who's here for her 21st birthday. The last time I met her was 12 years ago, but we've made up for lost time pretty well. Anyway...

Couple of hours later, I was pretty smashed, standing on a street corner in Leicester Square eating pizza in the snow. It started snowing on New Year's Day! How god damn romantic is that. One of the French guys was pretty insistent on getting my number. Up till now I haven't memorised my UK number.. So I gave him my Australian one? I don't know what's the point of that but... Drunk lah. I just liked listening to them rattle off in French.

So took the free tube home, was harassed by a threesome of dickheads. Openly making comments about how they'd like to 'smack that'. Dude.. that song is so old. Keep up with the times, and while you're at it please buy a mirror. You look like a hedgehog.

So far all the asshole encounters we've had were from British Indians. Which isn't a surprise but yet it irritates me. Especially how you can continue to behave the way you do despite us feeling (and looking) thoroughly pissed off.

I think this UK trip has been the most fruitful within just these 2 weeks. I've revisited Big Ben, London Eye, and I finally got to see Buckingham Palace and St. Paul's Cathedral! Visited Tate Modern and the Natural History museums which were fantastic. Saw the millenium bridge too which was pretty cool.

Next up?
Tower Bridge
Arsenal FC
Chelsea FC (cos they're both in London, I might as well make someone jealous)
Camden Market (tomorrow!)
ABBEY ROAD!

I know it's just a zebra crossing. But it's iconic. And I love the Beatles!
There's much much more to come. I hope to make some cool friends. Maybe go to France? Haha! Fucking no money.

I need to get some sort of illegal job while i'm here. Cash in hand or something.

Speaking of money, I may just end up losing my apartment. Courtesy of my ex-housemate who hasn't returned my bond yet so I can pay the landlord. If I do... Ohhh dear. Let's hope it doesn't come to that. Finding an apartment like mine is hard! It's one of a kind! I will seriously cry if anything serious happens. I just put up my fairy lights! And I won't get my 3 weeks of being a swinging single in my apartment before Geetha arrives!

I'll save ranting about self-mutilating artists for another entry. Some exhibits at Tate Modern just plain shocked me. I know art is subjective and shouldn't always be taken literally but... I guess I only like certain kinds of art. What the fuck kinda comments am I making. This is why I'm a science student.

In a nutshell. I want to marry a French boy one day. 'Nuff said. Let's not stray down any unchartered paths just yet.