Love

It's a strong word.

People who've received my 'I love you's would know when I mean it.

I don't use it unnecessarily. Save your love for people worth it.

The Summer Roberts to my Marissa Cooper, I love you and I know you're reading this. Know I mean it, and know i'll be there for you. Even when the hardest part is over, i'll be with you every step of the way. Even if I have to go through every Bedok View yearbook to make you laugh, sift away all the depressing songs in my music albums, or even buy you kebabs every day, I will make sure you get through this as much I can.

:)

fruits of the post prelim weekend!

Friday - bummed at home.
Saturday - Zoo AND Night Safari, no night safari pics tho.
Sunday - crazy random outing with Mimi to all places random ON FOOT! Heh.

We'll let the pictures do the talking. First up... Our zoo trip!


Aresha's inner chinese shows.


Two bored parrots.


A very annoyed saki monkey.


Mr Ashwin with his 100plus looking all cool. His joy was contagious.. In the beginning la.


AMIT! The 6-foot 'fuzzy ogre' that's been living with us for the past week.


White tigers are the prettiest!


Psuedo Ronald McDonald shoes.


A reminiscing kangaroo.


The one on the right has boobs! No wait... 2nd from right. Haha.


Whoops this one has a border.


Aresha and Ash having a moment while taking a photo with the Seletar Reservoir backdrop.


Really stiff (rein)deer.


Aresha started jingling her keys to get their attention and I thought she was reminding them of Christmas.


Remember the happy monkey from the tree tops walk? This is another happy monkey.


"Can I have some?"


4 monkeys taking a photo with 5 monkeys.


A really sad looking sheep.


Little Japanese kiddos.


This leopard wouldn't stop pacing back and forth, so I gave up. But the effect is pretty cool.

Next is my little outing with Mimi earlier... Was mad fun. We met at City Hall, window shopped a lil at Raffles City, walked to the esplanade, had Max Brenner's, walked to Boat Quay, then Clarke Quay, then Fort Canning, then finally calling it a day. I think we might've shed a few kgs in the process. Heh.



A really sad looking wayang.. person.


Chocolate by the Bald Man.... It was absolutely LOVELY! Finally I had some. And it was totally worth it. Will be going back again very soon.


Mi and me outside the Esplanade.. Damn I have a scar on my nose! Heh.


Do you know what it says? Cause I sure as hell don't.


Some interesting tai chi type exercise was going on below the bridge.


How peaceful. But he looks like he's gonna HADOKEN someone. Just imagine.


I love the symmetry in this. Somewhat.


This photo has no caption. Yeah.


Big bird and a small bird. That statue has an asshole. Till now it baffles me as to why.


Us at Clarke Quay.


Love the interesting wheelchair concept this place had. Can't remember what the place was called tho. Somewhere in Clarke Quay.


We stopped for some Turkish ice cream (and got ripped off). The little 'i'll-let-you-have-it-OR-I-might-take-your-ice-cream-and-smack-some-bells' routine is pretty funny.


Trooping our way up to Fort Canning, we just had to take advantage of the sunset.


I dunno why but this reminds me of the Shire.


Tombstonessss....


Mimi jumping for joy that we're finally done.

And soooo that is the end. Also the end of me ever using the school's D70s. Ah well. Tomorrow it's back to school, back to the mugging, back to having no life.

Oh, and it's 5 weeks to the A's. Wish me luck.

am i funny?

I can't read my archives without laughing. But somehow I don't think the rest of the world can relate to my stupid sense of humour.

Anyways, my reader base, YES ALL FIVE OF YOU are very much appreciated and have special places in my heart.

Will be getting the D70s today from school and i'll take a break this weekend to go around taking photos. Just this weekend.

So if you want to catch me, this weekend is IT. Tuition night is still on Friday, Saturday night will be at the Night Safari. I'm hoping to go out and get some good shots over the next three days.

I have a bio paper in 3 and a half hours. The last god forsaken prelim paper i'll sit for. Am now filling out the Girton College and Overseas Applicant Interview forms.

Urgh. So leceh.

oh sh-

I KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN. They nicely printed the page, circled it (in red fucking ink no less), folded it in three and air mailed it to me. I took extra precautions to ensure my email address was perfectly spelt, in perfect handwriting, to make sure nobody could get it wrong.

Grr. K so anyway they haven't said anything concrete about an interview, but from the looks of it I will be likely to have one at the END OF OCTOBER. I thought it'd be in December! On top of that, I have two more forms to fill out. Sheesh.

Can I just die now? Everything's happening so fucking fast i'm getting deeply irritated.

kanye you know i got your BACK!

The 50 Cent - Kanye West psuedo-feud-but-more-of-a-publicity-stunt is damn annoying. Cause its 50 Cent. How Kanye stoop to such a level! Gosh.

Kanye's outselling 50 at the moment :D

I haven't cut my fingernails since June. I don't always keep long nails, but I just never got around to cutting them. They're about 0.7mm long now, yeah I actually measured when I got bored studying.

Papers so far have been alright. I've had at least one paper everyday with the exception of 3 on Monday. Yes, three. After hearing all my friends in poly sitting for a handful of papers, I hope they don't get a heart attack. Heh. Oh and those papers have been no less than 2 hours each. Woo!

Will continue having papers everyday till next Thursday. Story of my life people.

I think getting As for the prelims are a bit far off, but I'm hoping for at least a B for at LEAST Chemistry, Bio or Math. Or all 3. I wish.

I've had the weirdest mental blocks during my papers. Chemistry Paper 3 on Monday had me ripping my hair out. I KNEW that there was only one answer to the question. And I just couldn't bloody accept it. I was adamant that its some unknown answer that I've never heard of but at the back of my mind I knew the damn answer but didn't wanna try getting it wrong.

Same thing happened today for Biology.

I haven't been sleeping much every night since Sunday. I usually don't freak out before a paper, and I was doing some major freaking out in my sleep (or lack thereof) about Chemistry. I'd wake up thinking about aluminium chloride for some fuck reason and organic chem reactions that just didn't make sense.

The following nights I tried to keep myself thinking about happy but sleep-inducing thoughts. It went better, I wouldn't wake up thinking about stuff but it'd take me at least an hour to get to sleep. Woke up stoned on Wednesday for Math.

And the period has impeccable timing. Right smack in the middle of exam week.

Grr. I feel so fucked. I hate this education system so much. But it's just another 2 months. All this, 18 years of my stupid life for a dumb piece of paper that'll dictate what i'll do in the future. I wonder if Cambridge has received my application. Haha.

Bebel Gilberto will be in Singapore 2nd October. Will prolly be going with Aresha cause nobody I know appreciates Brazilian chillout goodness. Koop was at Raffles Place last Saturday and I feel like punching myself in the head for not going cause it was FREE. If I didn't have exams... I'd have gone for Koop then trooped down to Homeclub for Goldie.

Sad story la.

"On October 2nd, you free, you let me know. When I pass I'll ride down in 6 to 7 minutes. If I don't reach your place by then means.... I'm dead."

Even sadder.

*BIGSIGH* Time to study.

le sigh.

If you stayed at home today doing nothing important in particular, please slap yourself.

I couldn't take my eyes off the sky, today was such a beautiful day. Though sadly in Singapore, it comes with humidity and heat, still, it was too good to stay in for.

But I did anyway. I took a break and brought Dog for a walk today for a bit, although she was being a pain. I've taken to bringing Dog out more than once in awhile so she'd quit her phobia of lorries. She's had it ever since some bitch of a maid of ours (one of the many) left the gate open the entire afternoon, only for Dog to run out and go missing. When she finally returned hours later, she was dirty all over and had a vicious abrasion on the side of her abdomen.

Bringing her for walks after that turned into her bringing ME for walks, cause she either wanted to turn around and go home, or drag me along to finish it as quickly as possible. This behaviour was amplified whenever a lorry went by, so I speculate she got pinned under a lorry or something when she went missing. :(

uh oh...

I just had a major KFC binge. I emerged from a couple of hours of Chemistry craving Zinger AND a Bandito for dinner. The guy on the phone was very patient with me while I took ten years to decide - 2 Zingers, 1 Bandito, 1 medium Popcorn Chicken.

Okayyy I didn't finish all of it, and I gave 1 Zinger to Maryjane (the maid, yeah don't you just love the name).

After my A's i'm gonna run the perimeter of Singapore.

I've sent in my Cambridge application form. Every passing day my tiny glimmer of faith in myself dwindles to a new low. I think it's cause my Civics Tutor predicted a B grade for my Chemistry. She's been on leave for the past 6 months, and refused to pick up my calls or reply to my online messages. If that B grade costs me my conditional offers to any of the 4 vet schools, I will be on a MURDEROUS RAMPAGE.

Fuck. Does she really think i'm that goddamn incapable? It's not even my worst subject - Econs, which got a predicted grade of B. B!

I don't see myself performing spectacularly for the prelims. Maybe scrape through a pass, but whatever la, it's the big A's that count.

First half of the week spent lazing around unnecessarily. It got to a point where i'd feel that same lethargy... from that post-O Level period. Waking up extremely late, despite the 9am alarm (which has been snooooozed so many times I think the side buttons of my V3x are spoilt), reading Harry Potter (oh noes), watching hours of cable then reading more Harry Potter, then finally, but reluctantly, settling in my chair before my poor underused study table.

Le sigh. How like that.

I don't know what to think. Like if I don't get into Vet school. It'd be as if everything in life has failed me, and i've failed myself. I want this so bad that I've had mock uni interviews going on in my head (and being mentally screwed by an uptight old British fogey in something that resembles a courtroom featured in True Files), working extra to help my Dad cover living costs, living life in Girton College in Cambridge (oh god please), enjoying the 5-6 years thoroughly despite the workload cause it's something I WANT TO DO and finally deciding to give up life in shitty Singapore to finally have some... quality of life there, for myself, my brother and sister. Oh, and get away from the fuckers that live here.

It sounds cheesy, but that's been the whole point so far. Heh, i've never put this into perspective in words.

Still, if I don't get it, life goes on.

The best thing about things like this is to expect the worst. So when the worst happens, you won't be as disappointed, and when it turns out ideally, well you know the rest.

Ah. Being in a JC sucks ass when you know what you want but can't do it the Poly way.

Less than 2 months to the A's. Less than a week to prelims.

When i'm not worrying about the two, i'm looking forward to Christmas, as I do every year. I always feel it months before December, I don't know why. By now you'd know Christmasses at 407 Upper Changi Road are the bomb. That Christmas smell. This year I wanna have a big dinner, before Christmas though, for my BAHLULS! They're ever so endearing, and the only group of people I adore so much cause they'd never pull some stupid stunt behind my back, fail to acknowledge me as a friend, or act like they're more atas than the people around them.

K I got that out of my system.

Anyways, the dinner, yes. I want to cook. I'll learn how to make Shepard's Pie and the like, and i'll do it a few times just to make sure it's edible when I cook for you guys. Ahahaha.

I really need a holiday. I've never hated Singapore more than I do now. No not cause it's boring, it's small, whatever. I hate the people.

The heartlanders, the matsminahsliansbengsanjacks, the angmohs being suckered into this shithole yet are the most privileged minority, and ESPECIALLY the manjens that act like they're the caucasians of the region.

Sheesh.

*warning. Aruna is gonna start ranting. I advise you to stop reading now.*

And what. In the hell. Is so great about being fair and having straight hair? Hey that rhymes.

I proudly had 'brown is beautiful' as my personal message on MSN the past week. Because, why does being brown deem me uglier than you?

Then there was this ad on TV that asked the question, 'Have you ever dreamed of having straight, beautiful hair?' or something along those lines. And is it just me, or do the before photos for most shampoo ads (for their before/after comparison) usually feature curly (albeit frizzy) hair? And the after photos always have that freshly rebonded, disgustingly straight fake-looking hair?

Screw you narrow-minded idiots.

The hairdresser I go to regularly always tells me i'm so fortunate to have natural curls. Every time she finishes she always styles my hair for the day, trying something new each time. She straightened it once, and said I look really nice, but the curls look better.

I went to my mom's hairdresser on one occasion, and encountered the total opposite. Some broken-english speaking tart of a middle aged lady told me off for not rebonding my hair, and said that curls are ugly unless its straight hair permed nicely (while she was sported artificial curls herself). I was so disgusted. If you had a perm, I can fucking tell. Most perm jobs i've seen suck ass. The curls look so... straggly and shapeless. Tho that's not the point.

I love my curly hair to bits. It's been looking great lately. A person I had familiar relations with once said I should never straighten my hair, only to change his mind later.

Funny how we're taken by an OD of brainwashing advertisements, how they make it seem so matter-of-fact. Cause that's what we're made to get used to, the norm in this shithole you see... so any deviation of the norm is wrong, and in this context, ugly.

Haha. I love my Chinese drama serials and want to learn conversational Mandarin, but this is too much.

Gosh. Being in JC has made me a melodramatic, repressed person.

All this is one blog post. If I saw myself blogging about such long-drawn out things, I'd knock myself on the head and tell me to go and study.

(no i am not dissing fair, straight haired people. don't you know how to read?)