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Slowly going mad.

It's funny isn't it. The more you learn in this course, the more you realise that you're not really 'helping' in the way you thought you would. Helping in the destruction of domesticated animals. The whole idea of having pets, eating meat. Being a vet encourages these things. It's all one big skewed idea and being a vet makes hardly a dent in the entire world of the lives of other living species.

The only way to really help, is to go vegan, never have a pet, never go to the zoo/pet shop, discourage other people from buying pets (cos the whole idea behind owning a pet makes the industry tailor these poor little things to people's crazy fantasies of having a pig you can put in a teacup). How did we ever find joy or satisfaction from any of these things?? It's like... shelters, conservation programs, animal welfare, just one big band-aid for the giant-ass booboo that we created.

When I see people joining stupid pages for animal rights on facebook, I scoff cos they really don't know shit. Yeah you feel sad for the occasional cruelty case. Don't beat any animals. DON'T.

But why should I be the one to scoff? When I graduate all I'll be doing is helping farmers ensure they'll still earn money, or to make people happy when they see their golden retriever with hip dysplasia walk without difficulty but at the end of the day the golden retriever and many golden retrievers down the line will still have that tiny gene pool from inbreeding WHICH LEADS ME TO NEVER REALLY GETTING ANYWHERE WITH HELPING THEM IN THE LONG TERM.

So at the end of the day, am I just becoming someone who lives for that short-term bursts of happiness with each rehabilitated animal?? My livelihood, the spawn of the very stuff that makes me cringe.

Like Hayley posted earlier;

I HAVE SOLD MY SOUL.

Hello SWOT VAC, hello 9 exams. Some divine power please give me some sort of infinite brain stamina to study for 12 hours each day for the next 4 weeks.

Oh and hello winter, I HATE YOU.

i car(ry) us

I, I am so high

I thought I saw you mouth these words, what did you say?

I cry, I cry, I cry, so high

How dare you try to bring me down so suddenly

the sun, the sun, the sun, too high

my wings so frail begin to fail, I fade away

I try, I try, I try to fly

like a tolling bell I fell, I pealed away

I must stay high

but waxen wings are heavy things, they drag me down

the surf, the sea, the spray, the sky

the oceans maw, it gapes so wide, I fell inside

I swim, I sink, I yield, I drink, I'm done

Deep undersea I've seen such things not meant to be

I die, I die, I die, I'm dead

In a tumble down I drown

what words are left to say...

I, I am so high