does this mean the new maid is coming tomorrow?

Today's horoscope;

" The bumpy road you've been on for a while is going to get a whole lot smoother today. What's funny is that while you'll love the change of pace, a part of you is going to miss all of the exciting drama. An easy life can become a boring life, and this is something you understand all too well. Just try to enjoy this more peaceful period while it lasts. Don't wish it were different -- because soon enough it will be! This lull in the action will give you a chance to regroup and recharge. "

Hmm.

my heart is happy watching my ratties run around the room

Hello. No I haven't died in a ditch (though the feeling is almost about right), and no I haven't been cosying up and hiding away with some boy (why is everyone thinking this? Ideally I wish this was the actual situation).

In fact, all i've been doing is giving tuition, housework, and WO. Something's gotta give, i'm so tired. And this newly acquired flu is doing absolutely nothing to help the situation. 3 more tuition kids and I quit the bar. That's the deal i've made with myself, and many people around me.

Housework is no fun at all. Especially when you're doing everyone else's. Tomorrow i'll take the opportunity to rest though, it's gonna be some music event next to Tanah Merah MRT! Yeah you heard right. All the previous events organised by the Youth committee of our GRC have been lame, but this time Aresha's been added to the mix. She's channeled funds into proper sound equipment etc, and will be playing old school hip hop between various bands.

You've got to be mad if you don't like old school hip hop.

And right at the very end she'll be spinning good old drum and bass. Not bad for a crappy neighbourhood CC event i'd say.

the week is finally over

And tonight.. well, today morning, I can sleep in for as long as I like. Such bliss. Even Ma could see how horribly tired I looked even before I left for tuition this afternoon. Went to work - an old WO employee came back to work, Ainsley. At least now there's one cute boy in the bar. Nothing personal against WO and my lovely colleagues but I want to stop soon... depending on whether anymore kids need my tutoring skillz.

Gave the RSC Block Party a miss too. I thought of going cos Aresha was spinning at the Red Bull tent, and she brought Ash along. From what she told me, it sounded pretty dull cos of the rain. Then she told me there was some horrible girl there, asking people why she brought Ashwin along, and that he should just be locked up at home.

Who the fuck says things like this? And which random bich even knows about Ash, or is even any of her business?

Happier shinier things - Ms Pereira was at the bar today! I was shocked - I just blurted out a 'OMG! MS PEREIRA!' much to her panic. So I called her Mischa instead. She's got a lovely name :D

As I served her table she introduced me to everyone as her ex-student. She's looking better than ever, and her kid is 2 years old already! Met her husband and sister, they were all invited for the 80s Party that was happening in the bar. Super tiring, but much better than yesterday's formal dinner do. We became... banquet servers! Yes kill us now.

We had a banquet serving crash course - how to fold fancy napkin shapes, how to carry 3 giant dinner plates full of food at the same time (not even half as easy as it sounds), how to stack plates as we clear them, preparation of cutlery etc etc.

I'm not complaining though, practically every weekend we have all sorts of events going on now. And for some reason i've been on a lucky streak for getting big fat tips! Which is completely unlike your typical Singaporean, stingy as hell and the concept of tipping a server comes across as almost vulgar. In a good night I earn the equivalent of a full shift worth of tips... Sometimes people give tips for the bar to share, but the ones i've been getting were for my *cough*GOOD*cough* service.

Maybe someone has been enlightening customers on how WE EARN A PITTANCE. I guess that's the only reason why i'd stop. If I could spend 3 hours doing tuition, I'd earn more than even the longest shift at the bar on the public holiday, which is a good 9-10 hours.

Well, at least i've been doing something right. Although... I am perpetually 15-20mins late for work. I think Mitch is absolutely sick and tired of it, he msged me telling me to go home instead of coming cos I was already late, but I hadn't read the msg and showed up anyway. Nyahah.

Ok I really need sleep. Here are some Japanese people playing soccer in binoculars.

home the whole day

I haven't been grounded. But I had to stay at home anyway. The TV's been on the whole day, and I haven't really left the sofa since 10am. Omg.

Ended up watching the USA vs John Lennon on Star Movies. It was almost... entrancing. Like an entire era came and went even before we were conceived. After watching it I channel surfed and found the Pussycat Dolls yapping like precocious 12 year olds on MTV, and Ashanti touching herself on Channel V.

And then I started feeling extremely depressed.

It's been 2 weeks since Liza, yet another maid, bailed on us. So what's new right? I just wish I could do my own laundry, wash my own dishes, not everyone else's. Nobody really puts in effort to pitch in, to make life easier for everyone. Bleh. Fingers crossed for the next maid to come ASAP.

I wonder how much it'll cost to fix up the Trek. I need to start cycling again, since going out anywhere else costs money I'm not willing to spend.

prostituting myself

Yes.

Please spread the word that I am giving tuition. Give my number out if you must. I WANT TO GIVE MORE TUITION! I AM TIRED OF SITTING ON MY ASS AT HOME FOR HOURS AT A TIME!

Phew.

Zahra left a few hours ago. Shangari was leaving too, at the same time on the same airline, but it was Qantas heading to Adelaide, not Sydney. It was quite emotional at the airport. As Zahra hugged me goodbye I was telling her all sorts of things during the hug and ended it with a loud "Understand?!", because I was on a mumble-rant about the number of months she left me hanging, and that she better call me when she gets back in Dec, if her dad lets her.

Then after the hug I saw her crying, and I thought shit, I made her cry. Haha.

I don't cry at farewells. Okay well I do but rarely - when we were leaving the kids in Cambodia, when I left London for the first time (cos I absolutely detested the fact I had to come home and get back to studying and school). I almost cried when I left the second time, but only because Aunty Gogi was teary-eyed as I walked backwards into the departure hall, still waving at David and Aniek.

Back to Zahra. It was a good ol' Indian farewell. Every other race in the airport would probably have complained about it, but I really think it's something anyone would appreciate. To have everyone you care give you a final sendoff.

Rak and I had Popeye's afterwards, then watched Zahra's plane from the viewing mall. There were 2 Qantas planes, and all were delayed due to the rain or something. Within 5 mins of our arrival the first Qantas taxi-ed and left, but we assumed Zahra's was the other plane, because on the departure telly her gate was still closing, not closed.

The 2nd Qantas however, didn't leave until much later. In fact, when we left the viewing mall quarter past 11pm, 45 mins after Zahra's scheduled take-off time, it still hadn't budged. Strange.
Been seeing a lot of Raksha lately. As in... meeting her often. Maybe it's cos of Zahra, hopefully not, but either way I'm really glad we're back in propah contact now. It's almost like 4 years of secondary school never happened. 12 years of being friends, wao.

I said that to someone at the airport today, and she went 'Huh? So we're 24?'

We all have our frisbee moments. I have decided not to call it blonde moments anymore.

'I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger and bigger and then it hit me.'

But bleh, pot calling the kettle black. I am denser than selenium.

7 months and counting

I've read several blogs of people leaving, or have already left. It's almost surreal. A good majority sprang it as a surprise on me, not that it matters cos I won't be missing that majority.

But... so many people are leaving, others starting their uni education locally soon. All the boys will be busy in NS. So that leaves just me and Raksha.

For quite a few people... they only had maybe a couple of months before their departures. Things happen in a flurry, last minute preps have to be done, and not really much time left after that to truly anticipate whichever foreign country they're flying off to.

What if you had.... 8 months? You have enough time to realise what you'll be missing when you leave, and when you get over it all you have left is to wait.

Wait and wait and wait. I don't even know if i'll have enough for Amsterdam come November. Then i'll just be living a completely mundane life in Singapore for the remaining months. Is this really how I want to remember my last moments in this stupid country? Like I may have mentioned before, I don't know if I want to come back after 5 years.

But what else is there for a 19-year-old to do in this country? It seems the in-thing to do now is to go to Clarke Quay and enjoy Saturday night House for weeks on end. Also - to get disgustingly hammered.

House nights - Check
Get smashed - Check

So what's next? It'd be nice to get suggestions on how I could spend these last 7 months. Hmm.

time to cut the stitches

I called up about 4 tuition agencies today. I suppose them taking half of my first month can't be THAT bad.. depends on the rates they've proposed to prospective uh... tutees.

Went assessment book shopping again today, and did a good job in resisting the urge to buy unnecessary stationery. I just love the feel of a new notebook, a new pen, a new file. I bought myself a Pure 'O' Level Physics study guide for.... myself.

I told myself while I was looking through every Physics book that i'd consult Yiwei (a Melbourne vet school senior) about this first, cos he was telling me I could just take beginners' Physics in my pre-vet year. Those who did Physics at 'A' Level however, can go on to take the intermediate and advanced Physics courses.

Despite that, I bought a study guide anyways. A lil' reading up wouldn't hurt. And speaking of reading up, my Basic Theory's in 2 weeks and I have zero confidence. I know it's easy, but people still fail anyway. During my E-trial I failed the first set, then passed the second. So... I don't.... know.

I'm glad that i'm doing this... Phasing-stupid-people-out-of-my-life thing. I find myself to be much happier - sans drama, sans heartache (only a lil bit recently but it's cool now), sans puffy eyes, sans anger. But I wouldn't say it's 100% sans all of the above.

Most recently, for the past 2 months at least I've been angry, depressed, and feeling guilty in small pockets for the smallest reasons, sometimes even for no reason. And despite narrowing down the circle to a handful (or two), and feeling much happier for it, the biggest stitch must now be undone. Or cut. Or whatever.

I am the leading lady of my own life.

Anyone who doesn't think so, get the hell out of my life then.

could somebody please remove these cutleries from my knees

I am officially obsessed with these two. Damnit Raksha! How do you pull off a nonsensical conversation like that without cracking up. And their deadpan expressions make it all the more funnier. The song's called Issues (Think About It), by Flight of the Conchords.

ahh.... shit.

I just want to lie on the grass in a quiet spot along ECP after hours of looking for stars.

And make out with you, while listening to the CD you bought me.

......



But I don't even like you anymore.