It's not coming. My dress will never come. It's really lost.

Those FUCKING BASTARDS!

Another dress just ain't gonna cut it, sista.

remember miss singapore? the one who was actually hot?

This one.

I couldn't believe it when I saw it, but she's now a Deal or No Deal girl. How does that happen? How many brain cells do you need to do that job? I really cannot believe it. Why she did that to herself, is beyond me.

Ah, this Goldie mix is SHIOK BODOOOOOO hahahah shit I can't stop doing that. It's such a ching-chong-trying-to-step-melayu-gangster thing to say but I just can't help it la. Next week's the first DNB event i'll be going for after the A's. Saturday. Friday is a much-awaited movie date with Mon! It's been long, TOO long since we've gone out for rubbish. Thursday i'm gonna neaten my eyebrows and hit the gym. Saturday too. It's also Mimi's mom's Haj kenduri so I should be going for that too.

The following week I will be camped out at Woodlands. At Mimi's of course. I will be spending a few days there, so I will be MIA from the 26th for quite a bit. Gonna watch our million movies, spend time with a certain someone i've erm.. 'reconciled' with? After about two months of not talking.

I'm glad la. That we're talking again. I highly doubt anything's gonna happen out of this, though it would be a nice change.

Mm so, my dress STILL hasn't arrived. The people I bought the dress from said it's only been 3 weeks, it can take up to 4, and if i'm really paranoid I should check with customs. Of course I checked with customs.

Customs then directed me to Singapore Post, who then directed me to Loyang Post or something like that. A very enthusiastic chinese lady picked up and you know the kind, the ones who keep repeating the same thing over and over like a broken record. But she did take my number and address down so she could double check. Oh man, please don't lose my dress. Of all things to lose, not my beautiful dress :(

So the A's are almost coming to a close. I really don't know where to start when it comes to partaying, cause the funds are limited. I HAVE to find O level kids to tutor asap, and find a temp job in December if I can.

Money is gonna be damn tight cause I need to save for damn Chiangmai. Parents are not forking out a cent. For anything. At all. Not my license, camera, laptop for university, absofuckinglutely nothing.

I understand the need to work and save up for my own shit. But less than 6 months of working isn't gonna earn me anything close to enough, considering I have to cover my own transport and whatever going out I'd do. Even though I don't have anything close to half the free time my sister did when she was my age, I will work something out. That way, I owe my parents NOTHING (in terms of these particular things) and demand I be left alone. Of course i'll still be around the house, just not as much.

I am just not the kind to sit around all day at home. Be it read a book, watch tv on the sofa, nap, or use the computer it just CANNOT be for the entire day. A couple of hours, fine. But this is ridiculous. My family abides by these habits. If my mom even SUGGESTS the idea of me not going out when I have absolutely nothing else productive or better to do in the house I will lose it.

Besides, you need to leave your house at least once a day. It's unhealthy to spend so long at home. Even if it's going to the shop or taking your dog for a walk, just get out of the damn house.

Speaking of taking your dog for a walk, i've been bringing Dog for her walks more often, which is good for the both of us. I love to people watch. Saw a childhood friend - Kenneth - while I was walking Dog. Like how most of the neighbourhood kids grown up behave, we ignored each other, but completely aware.

I remember Kenneth used to bully the slightly mentally disabled boy who was terrified of caterpillars. We were young and stupid, and found it hilarious when a caterpillar fell on the boy. I remember back then he asked me to call him Ah Seng, and insisted he was a gang leader. I didn't poke fun at him, he could have totally normal conversations, but I found him amusing. He also thought he was a bus driver, and would ride his bike in a circuit around the (pre-renovated) park, making bus door opening and closing noises and whatnot.

We'd ride our bikes behind him forming a line. When the park flooded after it rained, we'd dig up trenches and link them all up in the swing area, buy a catfish from the Thai shop near Miss U Cafe and let it swim around. When we all had to go home for our dinners we'd pick it up, cycle to the nearby canal and drop it in.

A neighbour I once blogged about before, Alvin the insensitive ass that pointed mockingly while I was having a hard time with my brother, used to be a major fish freak. I don't know if he still is, but his sister and I were the bestest of the best of friends. I know it sounds cheesy to call someone that, but if we hadn't had that silly argument 6 years ago, this'd be our 14th year of friendship. We used to share our Barbie dolls and cycle everywhere together. We'd spend hours at each other's houses without a care because we lived 3 houses away from each other. After school years ago we'd phone each other and see how loud we'd need to scream till we could hear each other without using the phone.

It far surpassed any friendship I have now at that point, and when we fell apart I cried for weeks.

As I finished the route I walk Dog through round the neighbourhood, I saw her peering over her fence into the drain as her mom washed their driveway. She looked up and smiled at me.

I couldn't help but feel the slightest tinge of loss, even though it's been so many years. It could've been for the best, we've grown into totally different people. But a small part of me insists something will work. Till now I still remember her phone number, cause I used to call her so often back in the day.

One milo at Simpang never hurt anyone right? I'll give it a shot. I shan't harbor any hopes but you never know.

I returned the smile and walked home.

Yeah, sob story.

Anticlimax of the year : I just bought 3 sets of the KINKIEST underwear! Looks like i'm gonna start my post-A Level partaying with a bang (not literally, HAHAHA)!

Panda Porn

After Mariam's revival of the panda sneezing video, I came across this;



That's fucking amazing. There's hope for pandas yet.

Am 3 papers to the end of my suffering. Econs was a nightmare though, as always. I can relek after next Monday! I can't fucking wait. There'll still be Bio on Thursday, but that's MCQ.

And oh, remember to get your post-prom tickets from me! :D

NOW i know what was missing

Fuckin' FILTERS!

Decepticons, I tell you.

deepavali in a nutshell

Dysfunction at its peak. My grandma is so patient.

Superpaati - that's what Aresha calls her. 2 weeks ago, I dropped my plate of food on the floor when she was taking a break from teaching Judith (the new filipino) how to cook curry and she just laughed it off, and laughed harder when Dog started slobbering all over the floor eating everything up.

3 signs that show Deepavali will end in standard GK disaster;

1) Pa gets drunk
2) Ash throws a cranky tantrum
3) Ma and Pa end up having an argument as good as a fist fight

It's almost an annual ritual. It gets funnier. Every. Damn. Year. No i'm serious.

market failure and macroeconomic problems

I wish I had flawless skin. As effortlessly as everyone else. I am probably more hygienic than most people, yet still. I guess we all have our hangups.

It kills me that i've bought my prom dress but my skin still sucks. There's a way around it I suppose. I don't know how long shipping is supposed to take, but it hasn't arrived yet.
























I just hope it hasn't fallen off a ship and floated to Madagascar.

Oh yes, Christmas is coming. And of course it'll be a happening party at 407 Upper Changi Road. It always is.

When November comes around I always irritate people by asking them if they can 'smell' Christmas. No, seriously. I can. It's that feeling of joy that the year's ending, the holidays, the weather. The days just seem loads more carefree when the end of the year is coming. And I guess I associate that with Christmas.

There's only one thing in the way now.

Monday - Malay B Listening Compre
Tuesday - Chemistry P2
Wednesday - Economicssssss
Friday - Chemistry P1

And the following week;
Monday - Biology P3
Thursday - Biology P1

And then...... BLISS. All the money I haven't spent will be flying out of my wallet. I need a source of income so I'll have enough for the Chiangmai trip.

'O' Level Biology tuition, anyone?

just a little sample...

Of how it feels after the exams. All major papers down, and hell week is over. Chem, Bio and Math crammed into two days. SEAB should fire the fucker who scheduled the papers. I thought Bio Chem Math students get it the worst, but actually it's the Bio Chem Math GEOG students. God.

Chem from 8 to 10am, Geog from 2 to 5pm on Monday. Bio from 8 to 10am then Math from 2 to 5pm.

Chem went great, Bio was so-so, Math was FANTASTIC! I finished in 2 hours, and re-did the paper again. But it kinda went that way for just about everyone, but I prayyy if there is a god (my favourite line for now) it'll push up my horrible Paper 1. It's hard to say for Bio and Chem cause there's still another 2 papers to go, and SPA. I'd have to say.. so far so good. But I don't wanna jump ahead and curse whatever good luck i've had so far. I don't want another repeat telecast of the O's.

K so anyway, Fatimah started hyperventilating really bad before the Math paper today. It was terrifying, she could barely breathe and started shaking. Her arms started going numb and cold and she was sweating like crazy. Thank god her dad came with an inhaler just before it got REALLY bad. You see what A levels does to us. It was really scary la, but thankfully the marking or something for her paper will be different cause she was having difficulty breathing during the paper itself.

Sharon charged in 10 minutes late for the paper carrying one shoe in her hand and her calculator and everything else in the other. She did her superwoman dash to her table, only to slip and fling her calculator several tables away. Mind you, we all have modest $150-$190 graphic calculators and she uses the $200+ silver edition and sent it flying. She probably fell asleep in the library again. I had to cover my mouth lest I let out an insensitive giggle or two.

So it's another 2 and a half weeks. This quarter of a day alone of not studying or worrying about studying feels so... foreign now. It's strange. All I did was take a shower and watch tv the entire time. I don't even feel as hungry as I usually would while I study.

Ahhh... gonna have some well deserved sleep and wake up late tomorrow. Then.... study econs. Gurgh.

Just a little more.

So.

There's a chance I won't get into vet school at all. That chance just grew by 25%.

And Cambridge's out too. Another 25%.

Well, like I said. There are still other things I could do and still be happy.

Really.

Could this day get any fucking worse?

it has BEGUN!

Sat for my BioMedical Admissions Test today. Sad to say, it was majorly fucked up. To whoever I showed the specimen papers to, it wasn't even close to being that easy. Section 1, time's up, 5 blank options. So I had to gabra shade anyhow.

Section 2. Managed to finish, but screwed all the physics questions. Thankfully there were only 3 (or 4?), and I scribbled down random answers that didn't make any sense. I was so disheartened when I took 2 seconds to look around at all these other aspiring doctors or vets, viciously tearing up their BMAT answer sheets with perfect answers. Never in my life have I felt so stupid. Considering I did absolutely no revision for this test, I hope to at least get a 5.0 (on a scale of 0 to 9.0).

Gah. When I first walked into the corridor of anxious students waiting to sit for the BMAT, I felt uncomfortable being surrounded by all these RJC/VJC/HCI students. I don't know about brilliant, but i'm sure they could kick ass studying hard. I could feel their elitist stares boring into the back of my head, and I just wanted to shout 'I STUDIED FOR 2 WEEKS FOR MY O LEVELS AND I'M PROUD OF IT'. Well not proud of it per se. But it doesn't make me stupider than you.

I was THE only person from an idiot JC. Thank god there were no familiar faces, otherwise i'd have to hear about how they could do it and I couldn't. There goes Cambridge, not that I was banking on it. But i'm terrified of losing Royal Vet College as an option.

The only, slightest consolation was that I looked up a forum holding a discussion for today's BMAT. UK's top students applying for 4 medicine courses in 4 top notch universities requiring BMAT results admitted that the test was super fucking hard, and most of them ended up guessing the last few questions. I don't know if that compares to the local muggers in this shithole, but I guess it could've been worse la.

I shan't be disheartened. I shall kick some Math Paper 1 ass on Friday, I hope. Oh yes, the A levels have started. It's just one last step away from being over. Start hoarding your confetti and alcohol from now people, you'll need it for all the partying i'll be doing. With you of course.