That's about it in a nutshell and i've been feeling stressed every day. OCIP presentation to the J1s on tuesday was NERVEWRACKING. Standing up there in front of 800+ J1s with a poorly prepared script and powerpoint slides that didn't tally with what I was saying was making my anxiety mount and I stumbled here and there saying nonsense.
After that though, Mrs Ting said I was so confident! Yay! Hahaha. Tomorrow's the same thing to the J2s which is TONS worse cause random goons I know will be smiling at me trying to make me laugh and I will lose it. And start laughing.
Tomorrow is Chemistry A level practical too. I shall start studying... later. Haha. Cause I studied the whole thing twice over last week and went through it with my friends today. But still a bit blur.
Yesterday was pretty bad. Came home in the evening and saw Ash barging out of the gate and running full on towards me with his fists in the air screaming. I darted out of his way instead of confronting him and he gave up chase and continued running down the road and kicked a honda on his way down. I watched him as he continued down the road while Ma was barking at me to get inside from inside the house. He kept running with his fists raised and scared a lady out of his way.
Ma told me not to bother so I went upstairs and called pa to find him then I showered, and when I came out Aresha was already home.
In between Ash running off and me going upstairs was when Ma was full blown yelling at the new maid. I think she's sweet and needs time to adjust but Ma has outdone herself in making a maid want to leave within a new record time of 4 days :(
After I showered I read the newspaper while Ma and Aresha start yelling at each other about Ash. Ma pissed Aresha off so bad she threw her plate of food on the floor and ran out of the house. Ma went upstairs to shower and I just sat on the porch and cried. With Dog. Whom I shouted at. I'm sorry Dog.
Ma came down and started picking on me for not standing up for her against Aresha and accusing me of being 'everyone's friend by keeping quiet'. WHY! FUCK SERIOUSLY, WHY?
God damn it she just couldn't leave me the fuck alone! I went upstairs and she was all... Run away la! That's what you always do!
I was so pissed off when I reached my room I sent my dad a very angry message. You see, he decided to come home at 6am TWICE over TWO weeks without saying a word and screwed everything the family had together up. How we managed to bond so well last year got all fucked up because he obviously knew Ma was gonna blow up and never let it go.
He calls me right after and says he's gonna divorce my mom, then mockingly tells me I can stay with her and I can kiss my vet science education goodbye.
I'd continue, but it's getting rather late.
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