Frank Darabont + ZOMBIES + TV series = I MUST WATCH THIS

God when did I become so out of touch?

to be 11 again

It's been 10 years since I was a serious AXN addict. Time to find the DVD boxset. Gatekeepers <3

Imagine, some crazy lady who dresses up as a pirate and prances around the roof of her apartment block.

But anyway, I watched Gulliver's Travels today and thought of this song.

last few weeks in review

I hate this country more than ever. While the weather's always fine and things are somewhat cheaper, the people are crap and this country has zero compassion whatsoever.

Save for the people I know and love. They form part of a small minority that possibly cares.

Ashwin has been a huge part of my life, all my life. The last 3 weeks have taught me that really, this country is just not where I want him to be. Behind every face who wants to help is a space cadet, a disappearing act, a lot of words and no actions which has had us chasing our tails since day one. My parents are exhausted, and they've been dealing with this all year. It's only been 3 weeks and I feel inexplicably tired. And my sister? I can't even begin to imagine how she feels.

Since he's started school this week things have calmed down significantly. The house is quiet most of the day, I can finally sleep. But i'm prepared for a lack of it when the weekend comes around.

Monday was his review at IMH (previously known as Woodbridge) and Aresha told the doc along with subordinates and case workers pretty much the whole story. From childhood up till now. And how Ashwin behaves now is a manifestation of all that he and us went through as kids. A job, and several Personal Protection Orders later it all stopped when I was about 10.

While there are kids out there who turned out awesome with equally awesome parenting, there are some who just needed a good slap or two when they were kids. Like I might've mentioned before, i'm always thankful for the experiences in my life cos they've contributed to the person i've become today. But at what cost?

Then again, normalcy? Having been in Australia for 2 years, a taste of calm opposed to 19 years of chaos. If only I could have my family with me. I could go the rest of uni without being home even once, but the sense of abandonment is too much for me to just disregard everything we've been through as a family and how tightly knit we've become from it.

happy new year

These Viceroy Menthols are disgusting. Every time I smoke them my tummy does flips (the bad kind) and makes me wanna run to the toilet. God damn Singapore and its cigarette regulations. WHERE'S THE MARLBORO

Gotta not spend whatever little moolah I have. Only just tapped into the $100 GST credit yesterday. I can finally use my local debit card again! Thanks gahmen!

I suppose I should update about my Singapore adventures soon.. I'm glad to be back but i'm already looking forward to heading back to Melbourne. But I can't till SHIT GETS SETTLED YAWL.

In other news i've covered several bases since arriving. Been to Zouk once, and I hope nobody close to me asks me to go there ever again.. Went to IKEA today, had meatballs. Been to Simpang several times, ate several things, drank several milos. Amy could not wrap her head around the idea of selling milo as a drink, cos it's something people just drink at home.

Now that she mentioned it, it is pretty peculiar. But how could it be? It's just too awesome to just drink at home.

day before the bomb went off

Bye civilization, hello David Cooper.

2 weeks. I wonder how they'll pan out. It's exciting but i'm still afraid.

I hope his family likes me.

In other news, less than 3 weeks before I fly home. I can't wait to see everyone. But I should buy Christmas presents before I leave.

Time of the month, I WILL you to arrive earlier.

*thinks really really hard to make it happen*

I DON'T WANT MY PERIOD RIGHT AFTER EXAMS. TIMING FAIL.

But it looks likely. :(

Exams almost over. My brain has just about reached that point of burning out.

My post-exam schedule is filling up very very fast. I would like to spend a solid 24 hours in bed at some point, so I gotta pencil it in somewhere.

Wednesday, after Biochem - End of Exam party till some ridiculous time in the morning.

Hangover intensity prediction = room spinning the next day, survive on teh o, cigarettes and sleep. May throw up at the sight/smell of alcohol.

Thursday - Ref. Wednesday hangover. Probably have Bidina over for some happy times.

Friday - Lara's 21st. Cocktail themed, attempt to look extremely hot but fail to.

Hangover intensity prediction = feel rather shitty but shittiness alleviates when drinking resumes.

Saturday - EMPRA gig. If I have not convinced Henry and Flynn to go I may bail entirely but I don't mind going to see them cos everyone I haven't seen in ages will be there. May proceed to Bridie's after.

Hangover intensity prediction = Mild - Moderate, feel rather shitty but eat loads instead of drinking more.

Sunday - Depending on Saturday, head to Camberwell first thing in the morning. Get some good buys, stock up on Christmas presents, wander around Target for a bit then head home for some well deserved sleep.

That's just the remaining half of this week. Jesus. Let's hope i'll still be alive to drag myself onto my return flight home.

11 more days

To the end of exams. God my brain is SO tired. This time last semester I went to see Asami. But last semester was SO easy compared to this shite. Struggling to get revision finished as it is.

11 days. I need to get my shit sorted. Horse stud, fix carpet, move furniture, move house. My brain hurts thinking about it all.

dreams of lucy in the sky with diamonds

Oh what a fantastic day that was. Wish I could do it all over again.

Tangerine says:

i miss hearing joy division at your place

you remember your suprise

we were playing it in your living room

I'm really starting to miss home so much. Hard to believe i've gone a year (almost) without being back. To most people this isn't a big deal, but it's a first for me. Then again, if I didn't have a ticket home I probably wouldn't be thinking about it or missing it as much. I'm glad i'm going back regardless. Dog and the ratties are getting old and I want to see them again, seeing how the next time I fly back to Melbourne I probably won't head home for 2 years.

Marco polo/hide and seek in a canola field in the darkness, with some of greatest people i've met since i've come to Australia. Definitely one of my favourite memories for many, many years to come. Hope the farmer doesn't get too mad when he finds cigarette butts, a quarter bottle of whisky and possibly a rolly chair in his field. I'm sorry we trampled on your canola.

HEhehe

god i'm so confused

Gosh the weather was just perfect today. The sun's almost gone down and it's not even cold! Feels like summer. Henry, Cooper and I skipped an entire lecture just to sit outside in the sun. It really was so lovely. I wish it could just stay this way.

Tomorrow we head to Dookie, bright and early at 730am. It's gonna be 4 days of farms, vet talks and fatigue. On the other hand, 4 days of awesome friends, booze, free food and adventures (and with a small joint thrown into the mix) sounds completely worth it.

But in all seriousness I am looking forward to seeing all the different types of farms. Should be good stuff. I had a test this morning and just did mediocre. With the exception of this test, I feel like the effort I put in is somehow not enough, I just keep getting mediocre marks. Secondary school, JC, it all feels like child's play compared to this. I won't stop trying, and I know i'll be a great vet. Just need to get over things like Physiology and Biochemistry. Blargh. Exam blues are on its way.

Went to visit Aresha in Sydney over the 2nd week of mid-sem break. Had a lot of fun, drank way too much and spent way too much of her money. Haha. Sorry sister. I will pay you sister maintenance when I start earning big moolah.

the hill of content

Ahh, things were so much easier a year ago. How things have changed. It's a lovely picture regardless.

When Roti was sleeping just now, I could hear her making dainty noises. Like little sighs. It was adorable. Now she's awake and pooped next to the shelf. This week was supposed to be mega study week, but dear lord how that has failed. The hangover that resulted from last night's ridiculous adventure put me out of commission the entire day today.

I'm not gonna go into the nitty gritty details, but it involved a lot of crazy promises, finding random doors, stealing shit, Bidina falling thru a ceiling and down 2 floors (!!!!), me trying to barter a sparkly purple bow for more packs of spicy sauce, throwing a cucumber thru a window of someone's house... God. It was such effort to get Bidina to the hospital cos she couldn't move her arm much and it hurt. She really didn't want to go and I was being annoying about it.

Had an awesome lunch at Crossways of Malaysian tofu curry and jasmine rice, with PAPPADUM! It was so good. Especially that first bite. The hangover made finishing it a real effort so I didn't.

Fuck. Got nothing done today. Tomorrow is mega finish biochem study day. MUST!

holidays!

Some assignments out of the way, holidays have started, i'm going to Sydney next week.. A jog now would do wonders but my laziness is getting the better of me. And it's cold too. I'd rather have a smoke but i've reached a point where I'm starting to question these decisions.

Smoke vs. A Jog. The former is beginning to disgust me, relative to the latter that is.

One and a half semesters so far and vet has been out of this world. Sometimes, the things you love make you cuss, swear, doubt yourself and tear your hair out. And sometimes, those same things bring you ridiculous amounts of happiness that give you that great bursting feeling in your chest. That's love isn't it? That's what vet's been like to me. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Studying's a drag but that's just a universal sentiment I can never run away from. Despite having to study 24/7 (which is what I.... haven't been doing), it's a small price to pay.

But apart from school, general happiness levels are at an all time high. I'm so happy I don't think about you anymore, effortlessly. No boy drama so far this semester, unlike the past 1.5 years and I hope it stays that way for whatever's left of it. Moved on the bigger and better things, holding myself back in ways I never used to.

Whenever I wanted something, I never waited around.. I just went for it. This was my mistake.. And it always hurt me in the end. But keep in mind the context.. I think in life we should never wait around for things to happen. We are the ones to make it happen. However, when it comes to matters of the heart, i'll start taking precautions now.

We'll see how this situation unravels. I predict a kick in the ass sometime in the future. I don't care if i'm a bitch now, i'm staying guarded.

simple days

I can safely say that now, I am A-Okay.

It's a good feeling I got going on. I'm well and truly happy. Spring is finally here, the weather's warming up and leaves are growing, so that might have something to do with it. But in all seriousness, the emo days are gone for good. I can't believe I let it affect me the way it did, very disappointing.

New developments have.. developed and i'm taking things one step at a time, while still going with the flow. The walls are built high but once I find something truly great, it'll be the stuff of legends.

I feel the need to shed. Ok that sounds weird, but rather.. the need to moult. Shed the sad, heartbroken, mildly depressed skin of before and be myself again. I know, I really need to get over myself right. But I don't quite know how? The depressing weather has made it all worse.

I feel like i'm being weighed down by what I was before, and i'm struggling to stand up and be the funbubble I used to be. I'm almost there, so close, yet so far. I thrive on meeting people and having fun and all i've been doing is sitting in bed but it's changing slowly. Today I had afternoon beers with Percy and Paul like the old times last year. The sun was out for about an hour or so and it was great. 2 jugs of beer turned into 5 :D

Spring starts next week. Winter's finally over with the start of the week at 18-19degrees. It's about fuckin' time. This weekend onwards, NEW ME! Starting with tomorrow's Into The Wild booze cruise down the Yarra. Gettin my mojo back, bit by bit.

Apart from recent injuries i've been feeling pretty good. My cast was just taken off, and although it's not 100%, I can do most day-to-day things without putting too much strain on my right hand. At the very least now I can write!

This week, I will study/do some form of work everyday excluding Wednesday (Paul's birthday surprise) and Saturday (work + ASAMI'S EP LAUNCH!). I sold 17 tickets to the launch. I swear I could've hit 30, but the gig's now sold out. So it's gonna be really really awesome.

Was supposed to go to work Saturday morning, but I passed out in the toilet. I got it going pretty rough I have to say. I even broke the glass toothbrush holder I bought, and I don't know how. But I heard it shatter as I fell. My head hit the door frame and I'm not sure at which point I blacked out. My head hurt so bad I had to miss work. Seriously... Am I suay or what? 2 days after I finally regain almost normal use of my hand, I injure my head (non-seriously).

Suayyy...