i hate justifying myself

So i'm not going to.

I'll let you think i'm like any other fucking 18 year old. Insolent, self-centred and stupid.

Because I am sick of this.

As i'm typing this, my brother is walking around me trying to piss me the fuck off.

They day you have something REAL to handle, something you can't drink off, something that will NEVER end eventually, something that'll make you want to rip your hair out every single fucking day, something that will never let you live your life like any normal teenager,

then you can judge me.

Till then.

FUCK THE HELL OFF.

if you haven't watched shaun of the dead...

Then you kinda suck. Go watch it. Now.

If you have, you'll enjoy these videos :D



"There isn't an I in TEAM, but there is an I... in pie. There's an I in meatpie. And MEAT is an anagram of TEAM."



Coldplay did a cameo!

Doesn't that make you wanna watch Shaun of the Dead? Now?

:D

everyone has their reasons

"First thing i'm gonna do when I get my bike is come to Bedok."

"For fuck?"

"You'll be the first person i'll pillion."

Is that sweet? I can't decide, he's too idiotic. But my anger's waning, cause he had his reasons, which he only told me last night on the phone.

88 days to the big A's. 4 weeks to prelims.

Can I die now?

milo and nestum... the breakfast of CHAMPIONS!

Am horribly horribly sick. 3rd flu in less than 3 months. I think it's the stress, I usually never fall sick.

Diedie I still had to study Electrochemistry for the test tomorrow... If i'm feeling up to it i'll attend school cause I have 2 days MC.

My brother is lurking around the house trying to irritate me as usual.

I've taken so much stupid medication that I actually feel a bit sick... from the medication. I never usually take more meds than 2 panadol tabs a time. Now I have 4 kinds to take. Uggh.

Revision's still veryvery slow, though it has definitely hit me and i'm procrastinating less thank god.

Can't wait to give this stupid blog a makeover, after the A's that is. Mom's off to Bintan this weekend! YAY!

But before I enjoy I gotta make sure I study enough first haha.

lets blog in questions

Can I drop a fucking brick on your head?

FUCK!

I'm so sick of JC.
I'm so sick of JC
I'm so sick of JC.
I'm so FUCKING. SICK. OF. JC.

Grr.

The novelty wears off fast. To think I was having the time of my life last year. It's not the mugging thats getting to me. It's not. It's everything else. I know it all ends in 3 months plus but the 3 months after that will be spent biting my nails wondering whether i'll ever make it later on in life.

I want to have a little peace of mind.

Another nonsense post.

Anyway, I told myself i'd never hike (or take a bus) across the country (which isn't very long, but still) to meet someone I didn't think was worth meeting.

Last Tuesday, I tested my little theory.

I guess you could say it was worth the trip. I DID finally get to play a ps3. It sure as hell doesn't disappoint. I looked at it in all its shiney-ness and just thought, "Fuck... Wow."

That, a plasma tv and a Bose sound system.... I nearly died, though I didn't quite show it. I kicked his ass at Need For Speed Carbon then we watched The Hills Have Eyes that we rented and it was such a crap show.

It was all so strange but I liked it. I don't know why strange la. I guess it's cause i'm finally taking a big step.

But the brakes are on cause someone needs to study unfortunately.

can you say.....

Blow up doll?




















Click it for horrifying video terror.

Anyone who can kill this girl for me gets a nice big wet smooch.

From Dog.

I need to blog more.

Really.

Hrm.

fireworks and moodswings

I spent the entire weekend doing nothing academically productive. *slaps self*

Saturday was spent watching Die Hard 4, then a takeaway Long Johns dinner at Fort Canning. It's a great place if you have good company. Hmm.

Then today! Woke up and was told we were going for Uncle Mohan's mini birthday celebration at Patti's house. So within an hour we left. Just me, Aresha and my mom. My dad and bro? Haha let's just say..... Ok don't ask.

Kavitha was there and I totally didn't recognise her. The last time I saw her, four years ago she was my age with freckles and wearing glasses. Now.... She's GORRRGEOUSSS (a la Steve Irwin).

Really. She's got a great tan and has the best complexion ever. She was heading back to Aussie tonight so I thought hey let's go out or something.

Went to Serangoon Road in the evening, did eyebrows, had tea and thosai, window shopped at Bugis St and called it a night. She's really great company, I hope she comes down again at the end of the year.

ROAR ITS SCHOOL TOMORROW I HAVEN'T DONE ANY WORK SO I am ded.

i want to be lesbian

Guys are jerks. Really. I've finally come to that conclusion after telling people it's not entirely true.

Women drive men crazy?

FUCK la we can say the exact same thing about you JERKS.

In the past few months, I've felt like i've been screwed over several times, by several JERKS.

Congrats, you did a good job of making me feel like shit for things I have no control over.

Simply because I don't live up to YOUR expectations, I get shit for it. When things don't go your way, you go OUT OF YOUR WAY to irritate the living shit out of me.

I have problems. I have real issues to deal with that you blissfully don't. You understand that. So WHY would you continue to hassle me about unnecessary things?

Stupid things like.... why I ask so many questions? Why i'm not telling you my fucking life story?

Ignoring me for stupid things like a fucking crush I had on you a whole bledy year ago? How childish can they get?

I CAN'T be there at your beck and call as hard as I try and I DON'T come up with excuses not to meet your sorry asses when there is nothing to fucking lie about.

Aiya. So many different kinds of jerkwads. I think they spawn from someone's smelly armpit.

Just. Give me a break. I'm not an amazing person, I just try my best.

my head is going to explode.

I'm..... applying for the University of.....

Cambridge.

My first choice.
I'm making a mistake and i'm wasting away my first choice of a UK university. Am I?

If I don't get straight As then unlikely I will get in.

And I am paying 380 bucks to sit for the Biomedical Admissions Test in October so I can qualify. Only if I do good for that as well, that is. Otherwise it's a waste of a lot of moolah.

This is so stressful. Everything's happening so fast. One moment I thought I could settle university nonsense after my A's, and the next, i'm rushing my JC tutors to write me references and predict a possible grade for me so I can send it in with my application.

My choices are (in no particular order):

University of Cambridge
Royal Veterinary College, London
University of Bristol
University of Liverpool
University of Edinburgh
University of Glasgow

My mom says I should have more faith in myself. I kept beating myself up about choosing top universities. But it just so happens recognised vet science degrees worldwide are from these universities.

Gah. First things first.

Finish my application - get tutors to do school report, write my personal statement. As well as fill up the Cambridge Admission Form.

Then study for the Biomedical Admissions Test.

Then wonder if i'll get shortlisted for an interview.

Then cross my fingers and hope I get conditional offers from most of them.

THEN, pray to god I get the closest thing possible to 3 As.

I HATE having this undue pressure. So many things to worry about.

On a lighter note, I managed 11 pullups (INCLINED)! And you know WHY I couldn't manage more than 3 the first time?

Because the bar wasn't high enough. The shorter bar was too low for my body and arms. The taller bar was SO much easier! Wah cheeeeeebai I really thought I was hopeless.

So that means I got a GOLD for my Napha babey! Woo! I'm still hip happenin' fit.

AND! I PASSED MATH! Haha. Ok la it's not THAT big a deal but when only 20% of the cohort passed math at least there's a small reason to celebrate right? Especially because I could've put in a bit more effort for prepping for it.

Man what a boring entry. AAAAAAHHHH.

I'm supposed to meet Mimi in an hour.

But i'm still here reading SomethingAwful threads.

Haha! Transformers here I come.

french movies > any other movies

Just watched He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not on Central. Damn good movie, I love Audrey Tatou. She played an erotomaniac brilliantly.

What is it?

2. Psychiatry A delusional, romantic preoccupation with a stranger, often a public figure.

Freaky. In the movie she was given several years of treatment and medication, but she used all the medication to create a giant mosaic of the guy she loved behind her cupboard in the room.

Tomorrow i'm gonna watch Transformers with MIMI! YAY! You know we've never gone out properly since... ever. So FINALLY! Even if there's school the next day. When I asked my mom, she said "you better have good test results." Wah I really think my whole family's taking it too far.

Yay.

did you know...

You can't boil milk in an electric kettle? WTF!

I didn't know that. Unbelievable.

I started boiling the milk and there was that chao da smell. It got damn bad but I never knew you could burn milk in a kettle.

After pouring the milk away I saw all the carbon collected on the bottom.

I am a failure in the kitchen.

transformers!

I want to watch it tomorrow. I might be. I hope so.

I love getting to know new people. Its so exciting.

I stayed up till 3am last night talking to someone new. But actually I was helping Mimi with Math.

Still, it was fun though I only got 3 hours of sleep before my math paper. Which I screwed up, along with the rest of the TPJC math-taking student population.

I didn't touch math for 3 weeks up till yesterday. I practiced and everything, but I guess it all kinda leaked out during the 3 weeks of nonsense. And when they say you should sleep early before a math paper, they weren't kidding. I was making the stupidest mistakes and thank god they gave us an extra 20 minutes. So I could backtrack and do those questions again.

3 hours 20 minutes sitting and writing answers that are mostly probably wrong. But hey at least I tried till the very last minute, though I wanted to give up halfway haha.

Ok on this blog that nobody reads I swear I will start mugging next week. It's not a choice. IT WAS NEVER A CHOICE! RAR!

Time for a nap.

the most dysfunctional test, and hanging your brother 101

Bio mid year exam test was today! Sad to say... it was easy BUT FUCK LA you know when its easy and you haven't studied enough? Don't you just hate the feeling?

Anyways. In my case it was more than just not studying enough.

First, I was late. Wasn't much of a problem though even though the first 5 minutes was spent organizing my thoughts before starting to do my MCQs. They were pretty do-able so it wasn't so bad.

Structured question on evolution. Totally skipped it. 10 marks worth. Heck, I didn't even TOUCH my evolution notes so whatever.

Second, i'm still running the flu. My throat starting itching like mad suddenly, and everytime I swallowed, the itch just got worse. I had to cough, like mad cough but I restrained myself like crazy cause I didn't wanna disrupt others doing the paper. Swallow, tahan, swallow, tahan and I started tearing. I couldn't take it. I started tearing up so bad Hafizah thought I was crying.

I bet people thought it was 'omg i didn't study i am going to dieeeee' but no it really wasn't that.

Ms Ong came to me and asked me if I had medication to take. I said no while desperately wiping my tears away while trying to keep myself from gagging. Left the class and everyone STARED at me cause my eyes were teary.

I ran to the toilet and hacked my brains out. Drank water from the TAP several times, gargled, coughed and spat, blew my nose, neatened my hair and walked back to class looking as normal as I could.

Wasted a good 10 minutes on that.

And finally. Had an hour to do two essay questions, 40 marks. I was getting frantic so I gabra read part (a) of the first essay qn. Right before I started writing, I ended up glancing at part (b) and furiously wrote an entire essay on DNA replication. That was part (b).

After I finished it, I looked back at qn (a), and I went 'oh FUUUCK man got my concepts totally mixed up' in my head and absent mindedly crushed my essay and put it one side.

Did part (a) finally, then stared at (b).

'Wait, wasn't that what I wrote just now?'

My exclamation "SHIT!" alarmed the crap out of Ms Devi. I uncrumpled the ball of paper that had (b)'s answer and flattened it out as nicely as I could, as much as it didn't make a difference.

I very politely wrote at the very top of the page:

'I am very very very very extremely sorry for the state of this paper :( '

Luckily I know the bio tutors personally, except the chinese lady. So I can explain what kinda nonsensical circumstances produced that.

I think the whole thing's effin' hilarious. Next month i'll read this again and have a bledy good laugh at myself.

I have to study math now if I don't wanna fail tomorrow BUT I shall blog first.

So this morning before I left for school, Ash 'Fleetfoot' Smellybro decided to hotfoot it to Changi Village for like the millionth time this month, after kicking the neighbour's car several times.

See what I have to put up with? Before a fucking exam too. Your life doesn't suck, honest.

Anyway, I didn't bother pursuing him, he just runs and runs and gets tired after awhile. Pa was JUST starting a class in the ship simulator when I called, so I told him to conduct the class and get him when he's free to do it. Cause it's kinda bad that he has to rush out of meetings/cancel classes just to come all the way back to the eastside to pick up my brother from his quest to reach Changi Village via the TPE.

After the bio paper, I got Pa's msg saying he got Ash and he's home. I reached home and he had his legs bound.

Ok ok I know it sounds bad but fuck, I don't have to justify this to people who don't understand. Those who do, :)

He can walk around, just with small steps. Just now he was asking to be untied - I told him no, you're being punished, so just be a good boy.

But no. He tried to climb over the gate with his feet bound. He was almost successful in getting over if Maryjane (my maid LAH!) and I hadn't reached him first.

He was smart, he sat on the top of the gate and moved his feet over the edge. Before he could do it, I caught the bandage that bound his feet. At this point he almost got his legs over, so his bum was on the other side of the gate already. I was holding his feet on the other side, so can you IMAGINE? Hahaha. His knees were over on the side I was holding his feet so he didn't break any bones, unfortunately.

It was getting painful for him but if we had let him go, he'd just run off. Or at least try to. So I chopchop got the bandage and bound his hands. The idiot was struggling while hanging upside down. I had half the mind to tie his legs to the gate and leave him like that.

Finally, my maid let his legs go slowly though he still fell on his butt. Had to drag him into the house cause he's such a buffalo then he really started kicking up a fuss so we had to hog-tie him and tie him to the staircase railing.

I swear, he does this ALL THE TIME knowing my dad will rush back to his rescue. Stupid brat. And my dad, not only does he not come home at all now, he spoonfeeds and treats Ash like a baby. I was talking to Aresha about it this morning and she is FED UP.

She wants to rent a HDB flat and live with me. I want also. It won't give us peace of mind, but heck, time spent away from this nuthouse is respite.

Ahh. Dunno what's gonna happen already la. I think someone in my house has to die before my parents realise they have to do SOMETHING. Touchwood though.

Don't like this post?

Click.

my sister is in japan again

She's been there since Monday morning and meant to come back on Wednesday. No flights so she'll be back only tomorrow. One week in Japan, after 5 days there about 3 weeks ago.

She's mad.





















I dunno what the hell she's doing there now.

worst day evarrrr garr

Fucking flu.

Fucking period.

Fucking unfinished revision.

It's like... having to do A levels ruins every bloody thing for a good 6 months to a year. And maybe the rest of your life.

Yeah yeah another whiny exam-related post. Le sighe.

chacarron!

I want to bang my head on the table. Several times. But I can't because of all the organic chemistry I studied yesterday.

Studying is hard. It is. Especially when you're someone who's the in-between sort.

You know, you have your super hardworking HCI/RJC students who can mug for days without sleeping. They breathe the H3 science syllabus, and no, the fact that they take almost no time to spend having fun with their friends doesn't bug them at all.

Well yeah they'd do it after their A's and whatever, but.... I just can't work that way.

Then on the other extreme, people who just can't sit down and study. The thought of memorising chapters of chemistry or practicing math might clog their arteries and give them a heart attack. But these people tend to excel in many many other things so it works out for them.

And finally, you have me. The in-between. I can sit down for a few hours, yes, but I lose focus so fast its not funny. And my motivation? Last minute panic.

Last minute panic gave me 13 points for my O's. And I was bawling my ass off in the hall.

I only have about 3months plus before the A's. I'm waiting for the panic to kick in. But it seems to be taking its time.

Am I gonna be mediocre my whole life? :(

pictures pictures!

Surin beat me to it, but I don't care. I meant to post photos anyways.

So I kinda noticed that if my hands have nowhere to go when i'm taking a photo, they decide to make me look as spastic as possible. Honest.







I sent an email to the Royal Veterinary College in London about their admissions. From the looks of it, even before applying I don't think i'll get it. Cause of the fucking admission dates! Grr. I'm practically begging them for provisional entry. Chances are slim, but hey at least I tried.

I'm anxiously waiting for their reply, though I know what its gonna be. But I'm thankful they don't have one of those automatic response bots. God I hate those.

More pictures!




Now I know why we're sisters.

Fi's 17th. I know this is like 6 months old but.... I don't care haha. I just like these cam-whore shots we took while waiting for Nurul to bring Fi so we could surprise her.






Halloween with the class last year -

I have a tendency to look retarded in photos. On purpose.

Remember (or not) we visited some Malaysian flying club!

Ash the co-pilot!



Views from the Cessna!


I had no idea that was what it's called! Did you? Hahahoho.


This is Captain Gopal. He's my father and he can kick your father's ass any day. No la no la haha I just needed to give this a macho caption.


My room is totally orange and red. I don't know how I tahan. Ikea bedsheet colours!


"Why do you keep doing this to me?"
I swear it's frustrating having such a pretty dog that HATES to have her photo taken.



^_^


I walked out of the house one day... to find my dog having an emo moment in the corner of the driveway.


So I went to investigate.




What to do? I can't remember, but I probably ran around the house with her after that. :D

Photobucket is a cheeeeeebai and a half.



I have no idea what she's doing.


"Please, pretty please no more photos?"


I suppose this is her posing for the camera. I... don't know.

Road Run! It was in February... I think.

Not a very impressive sandcastle but a ginormous sandcastle nonetheless.


This is Samuel Soon. He is the coolest boy ever and weighs less than me (i think).
He has the most memorable quotes.
"Aku main mak kau semalam."
That's just one of the many.


I can run faster than you. But.... not longer.

Chingay came to Simpang Bedok ho mai gord! Here's a lousay ass photo from my lousay ass camera.



Cheeeeena New year at our tutor's houssseee.

Tossing Yu Sheng. I said some chinese words I didn't understand before pouring some sauce in. My inner chinese was so proud.


Me and Kenneth... Well before he stopped talking to me. :/


Yeah come on you saw a retarded photo coming didn't you.


MJ and I walking back after dinner at Miss You Cafe :D

May Babies barbequeeeee at some condo at Bedok Reservoir

The lights on the roof. Pretty, yes, but it made the place so stinkin' hot.


This is Ryan's talking-to-Sharon face. Well, everyone looks like that when they talk to Sharon.


Mark Channnnnn. Someone, after an entire year, I've come to respect.


Yes this is my msn dp. Not as nice blown up is it? Heh.

Lastlyyyyy... and most recently, the girlies in Sentosa! Yay! But these are only a few from the bunch of photos.

Trying to take a group shot. I look terrible, as always.

Oops missed out Yiling.


Dammit. Now my giant head is blocking Su.


AGAIN Yiling is missing.


Finally! Though Yiling's head is a bit chopped off haha.


We're the only two who ever wear bikinis. Hmph. Nevermind. Next year my birthday i'll make you all wear bikinis! Roar! Mwahaha.


About time, a photo with all 7 of us. Love them so much la.

Ya so your torture is finally over.

Wait. Not yet.

It's retarded? Well at least it made Mimi's day hahahaha. I dunno what i'd do to see a guy dance like that.