Absolute hell

And this is only one topic. Out of... 7? Am I going to die? Well, possibly. Fucking circulatory disorders.

All blog posts from my phone need titles.

I don't post enough photos of my place. Well, this is the living room.

Empty

This wall looks so bare now. There used to be a bajillion posters, just covering the whole wall. Now it's so empty...

It took me so long to take all of them down, then remove the blu tac from the edges and the walls. Packing is gonna take longer than I thought.

One hour of sleep.

Last night I only managed one hour. The past week has seen me waking up, coughing till I start to gag for about 20 minutes, then struggle to get back to sleep with an itchy throat just begging for more coughing. It's been a painful week of it. Plus taking about two hours to fall asleep in the first place. Oh and chuck three exams into the picture.  I just hope to god that I pass them all.

Moving out to Werribee has come underway nicely.  Thankfully we have settled on a house despite some minor disagreements. Finding the perfect house isn't always easy when everyone has their own ideas. But we finally came together on one, with just a little bit of persuasion. It's a wonderful house, spacious and clean. Old but not dated, and well maintained.

I'm just really looking forward to more space. That house had a million storage cupboards. This apartment can no longer fit everything I own. Every cupboard is full, my wardrobe is bursting. It's scary how much stuff I've come to own in just three years. And who would've thought at all how quick time would fly.

Only two more years of vet to go?? What... I never thought I'd ever reach this point. Or rather at the start it felt like a million miles away. I'm glad not to have had to sit any supps... well not yet. Even some of the smartest cookies in the above years have sat supps. So I suppose to get this far without one is pretty damn good in my books. Let's keep the good times going for another 4 sets of exams shall we? :D

I never got to mention that Yigang made his fabulous appearance some time in October. I feel bad for not having more time. It was good he had other friends here to hang with while I was being a busy bee. So glad we got to spend one solid weekend together :)

So it's my last few weeks in the city. In this lovely apartment I've called home for 3 years. I've grown so attached to this place. It's gonna be so hard to let go. There's just.. nowhere else that can compare. Where else can you walk to eat a 5 dollar pizza, pub/bar hop within a 300m radius, eat awesome Asian food at 5am and arrive  home in a happy stupor in 5 minutes? Ahhh... I've done it a disservice this semester by not living it up like I used to. 

Oh well. Guess I'm preparing for what life will be like in the next year. But with CAR. So life won't be all bad.

I hope this works

Since my phone was dropped in a toilet, it's been dried and was sitting in a tub of rice. All seems OK so far... this is just a camera test.

my lack of lifestyle options are becoming a concern.

So it's one week into the holidays. It's the time of the year when people just hang out at cafes, go for walks, go camping, go to the beach, go to the snow etc. But much unlike my other university counterparts, i've done absolutely nothing of the sort. Done nothing to optimize the beautiful weather, the free time, nothing.

Cos i'm using this time to finish shit like 5000-word reports.

As I sit here in my room, typing away, trying my level best not to procrastinate but do it anyway, I turn to look out my window, at everyone else's windows, everyone's rooms are empty. Because they're not SITTING AT HOME, DOING FUCKING WORK every damn day WHEN IT'S HOLIDAYS.

I HATE that all I do is whinge on my blog nowadays. I want to update my blog on happy things. They are few and far between nowadays. I just want to go to the damn Grampians. Meh. Just gotta hold on till after the exams, hopefully there'll be time to do fun summery things between moving all my furniture out, looking for a new house & moving in, and doing 2 weeks of placement at a clinic ALL BEFORE MY FLIGHT BACK TO SG ON THE 23RD.

Something's gotta give. I just want some time to hang out on a beautiful beach here.

Adventures sorely needed.

the perks of being a vet student..

You always get to do awesome behind the scenes stuff..


Bong Su at the Melbourne Zoo

Fed giraffes at the Werribee Open Range Zoo

Drawing blood from sheep.. That was hard.

Milked cows for a solid 17 days.

Ahh.. And so much more. Pulled lambs out of sheep, injected horses, stuff that gets the blood pumping but sadly the time spent on all those things are minute in comparison to time spent in the lecture theatre. Oh well. 4 assignments to finish with 2 tests to study for, followed by exams after 4 weeks... Gotta make the most of my 2 week holiday! At least I had productive cleaning time today. If I didn't clean first thing it'd bug me forever as I procrastinate, so i'm glad I did it even if it cost me a day out of my 2 weeks.

MAJOR CRAM TIME!

the G

Carlton VS Essendon, all from my phone. It's amazing what smartphones can do now... I can honestly say i've been living under a rock all this time. Taken, edited with PSP, uploaded onto Photobucket, just with a few swipes.

All thanks to this beauty, free when I signed a new 2 year contract with Vodafone;

Samsung Nexus S!!! 16GB internal memory and rivalling the iPhone in every way possible. Only downsides are the rather soft speakers and terrible battery life. I have to charge it once a day. And if David decides he wants to play Fruit Ninja for 4 hours instead of listen to lectures... I'm left with a dead phone. But anyway... amazing phone without the price tag and Apple-related limitations of the iPhone.

OMG OMG OMG

I'm 56kg again OMG!

Words cannot describe my happiness. I haven't been 56kg in over a year! What a wonderful feeling. Now I can look at myself in jeans in the mirror and not cringe because I don't have gigantic love handles anymore! I have yet to try my corset on, i'm going to wait a little longer till I do.

The best but most puzzling thing is I haven't gone down a cup size. Which is weird but maybe it'll take awhile. I love being indian!

Now i'll aim for 53kg, I wonder how long that will take.

mmm small android update

Last weekend was spent at a scouts camp on mt martha. Best weekend so far this year. Blacklights and fluoro paint and crazy games. What made it so great though was definitely the people that made the effort to drive down and burn a weekend of study together. ahhhh.....


And yet again it's back to the reality of school and deadlines. so many assignments this semester... coupled with harder subjects. meh.

But right now, I just want to figure out how to get photos onto this entry straight off this phone.

test

this is a blog entry from my phone. testingss.

although I got the nexus free on vodafone, it's actually quite power. hopefully I'll be blogging more from now on. only thing is that I take ages type with this QWERTY keypad....

oh well. time to shower and watch my boyfriend play footy.

ALL THAT'S RINGING IN MY EARS NOW IS JUST FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL SUPPS SUPPS SUPPS SUPPS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

Strength! Little time is still viable time.

I WILL pass.

whenever i feel inspired to blog, i should blog.

This is true. I don't want this to become dead space. The blogging bug bites every once in awhile, lasts for too short a time and my attention span for it dwindles to a new low with each wave of entries.

I suppose this time around it's just the boredom from studying. I used to blog comprehensively about my life, complete with pictures and the like. Because it's so nice to look back and have a thoroughly documented memory of how you felt at the time doing what you did. Given the free time i've had I guess I can't blame myself for not doing it.

At this point in time, I feel.... worried. I've done a lot of study, I don't know if it's enough. Time will tell. Money is always an issue. Finding time to earn money is tough.

So i've completed 3 exams with 6 to go. It's created a perpetual lump in my throat, the kind that comes with worry and anxiety. I knew it was going to be this hard. I love what i'm doing with all my heart, although I have the occasional lapse into 'what in god's name am I doing to myself? My life?' With all that money on the line, it's a feeling worse than anything else I could've imagined.

For the most part, it's great. But sometimes a love for what you do is not enough. Some people need a brilliance to get them through this. Do I have it? I wonder. I honestly don't know. People have always said to me that this is exactly where they imagined I would be. That the kind of person I am will serve me well in this profession. But sometimes my mind wanders... to reading, photography, all the hobbies I wish I had more time for.

LIFE IS NOT ABOUT HOBBIES.

So I should suck it up and just fucking study for my god damn Pathology exam in 2 days.

What will be, will be.

(back to study..)

I suppose if this means anything to you, maybe you might consider quitting smoking. To put it in layman's terms, your nice soft lung tissue will be broken down and replaced with shitty scarry tissue. Which means less nice soft lung tissue to absorb all that oxygen you breathe in. You also get a ton of phlegm so you'll be coughing it up a lot, and it'll make you sound like a tranny. All that phlegm making you cough makes it worse for your remaining nice soft lung tissue. All your white blood cells needed to combat infections will be wasting their time cleaning up the mess of those cigarettes.

I've cut down on smoking a lot. Last weekend I didn't smoke a single stick till Monday. And that pack I bought has lasted me all week, it's not even finished. So safe to say i'm getting somewhere with this. The stress of exams hasn't helped much at all, but if I could get through stressful situations before without the smokes, I sure as hell can do it again. HA WELL WE'LL SEE. Anyway, I put that up just because i'm studying now. And it sucks. This is how I kill time.

Ok back to study.

resolution

After procrastinating for awhile looking at pictures from a year ago, I have resolved that I need to lose some kilos. Not drastically, i'd say around 4-5 kilos will be sufficient. I don't mind having gained this little bit of weight as it is.

But.

I don't want to buy new clothes. Or bras. I find it highly upsetting that my MNG jeans make me look like a cupcake. I was never truly skinny enough to fit them after 19 without a little bit of extra blub, but now it's gone overboard. My heart broke when I looked like a complete whale in the corset I wore on my 21st birthday. I don't mind the bigger boobs but I really don't want to buy new bras!!

Last straw was when this beautiful cheap cocktail maxi dress had a max bustline that I EXCEEDED. Whot in the hayl is going on!

So yes. I realise this exam period is probably not the best time to diet. I haven't quite been out and about since Tuesday. Hopefully all the travelling and running around Europe will see a slightly fitter me. Then back here to continue my weight loss.

Hopefully..

rarrrarrrrrarrararaarijfdslfjslg

Slowly going mad.

It's funny isn't it. The more you learn in this course, the more you realise that you're not really 'helping' in the way you thought you would. Helping in the destruction of domesticated animals. The whole idea of having pets, eating meat. Being a vet encourages these things. It's all one big skewed idea and being a vet makes hardly a dent in the entire world of the lives of other living species.

The only way to really help, is to go vegan, never have a pet, never go to the zoo/pet shop, discourage other people from buying pets (cos the whole idea behind owning a pet makes the industry tailor these poor little things to people's crazy fantasies of having a pig you can put in a teacup). How did we ever find joy or satisfaction from any of these things?? It's like... shelters, conservation programs, animal welfare, just one big band-aid for the giant-ass booboo that we created.

When I see people joining stupid pages for animal rights on facebook, I scoff cos they really don't know shit. Yeah you feel sad for the occasional cruelty case. Don't beat any animals. DON'T.

But why should I be the one to scoff? When I graduate all I'll be doing is helping farmers ensure they'll still earn money, or to make people happy when they see their golden retriever with hip dysplasia walk without difficulty but at the end of the day the golden retriever and many golden retrievers down the line will still have that tiny gene pool from inbreeding WHICH LEADS ME TO NEVER REALLY GETTING ANYWHERE WITH HELPING THEM IN THE LONG TERM.

So at the end of the day, am I just becoming someone who lives for that short-term bursts of happiness with each rehabilitated animal?? My livelihood, the spawn of the very stuff that makes me cringe.

Like Hayley posted earlier;

I HAVE SOLD MY SOUL.

Hello SWOT VAC, hello 9 exams. Some divine power please give me some sort of infinite brain stamina to study for 12 hours each day for the next 4 weeks.

Oh and hello winter, I HATE YOU.

i car(ry) us

I, I am so high

I thought I saw you mouth these words, what did you say?

I cry, I cry, I cry, so high

How dare you try to bring me down so suddenly

the sun, the sun, the sun, too high

my wings so frail begin to fail, I fade away

I try, I try, I try to fly

like a tolling bell I fell, I pealed away

I must stay high

but waxen wings are heavy things, they drag me down

the surf, the sea, the spray, the sky

the oceans maw, it gapes so wide, I fell inside

I swim, I sink, I yield, I drink, I'm done

Deep undersea I've seen such things not meant to be

I die, I die, I die, I'm dead

In a tumble down I drown

what words are left to say...

I, I am so high

this little guy is now my will to live for the next 2 months

Seriously. Give me the shittiest day ever and this video will make it all better.