whenever i feel inspired to blog, i should blog.

This is true. I don't want this to become dead space. The blogging bug bites every once in awhile, lasts for too short a time and my attention span for it dwindles to a new low with each wave of entries.

I suppose this time around it's just the boredom from studying. I used to blog comprehensively about my life, complete with pictures and the like. Because it's so nice to look back and have a thoroughly documented memory of how you felt at the time doing what you did. Given the free time i've had I guess I can't blame myself for not doing it.

At this point in time, I feel.... worried. I've done a lot of study, I don't know if it's enough. Time will tell. Money is always an issue. Finding time to earn money is tough.

So i've completed 3 exams with 6 to go. It's created a perpetual lump in my throat, the kind that comes with worry and anxiety. I knew it was going to be this hard. I love what i'm doing with all my heart, although I have the occasional lapse into 'what in god's name am I doing to myself? My life?' With all that money on the line, it's a feeling worse than anything else I could've imagined.

For the most part, it's great. But sometimes a love for what you do is not enough. Some people need a brilliance to get them through this. Do I have it? I wonder. I honestly don't know. People have always said to me that this is exactly where they imagined I would be. That the kind of person I am will serve me well in this profession. But sometimes my mind wanders... to reading, photography, all the hobbies I wish I had more time for.

LIFE IS NOT ABOUT HOBBIES.

So I should suck it up and just fucking study for my god damn Pathology exam in 2 days.

What will be, will be.

(back to study..)