the hill of content

Ahh, things were so much easier a year ago. How things have changed. It's a lovely picture regardless.

When Roti was sleeping just now, I could hear her making dainty noises. Like little sighs. It was adorable. Now she's awake and pooped next to the shelf. This week was supposed to be mega study week, but dear lord how that has failed. The hangover that resulted from last night's ridiculous adventure put me out of commission the entire day today.

I'm not gonna go into the nitty gritty details, but it involved a lot of crazy promises, finding random doors, stealing shit, Bidina falling thru a ceiling and down 2 floors (!!!!), me trying to barter a sparkly purple bow for more packs of spicy sauce, throwing a cucumber thru a window of someone's house... God. It was such effort to get Bidina to the hospital cos she couldn't move her arm much and it hurt. She really didn't want to go and I was being annoying about it.

Had an awesome lunch at Crossways of Malaysian tofu curry and jasmine rice, with PAPPADUM! It was so good. Especially that first bite. The hangover made finishing it a real effort so I didn't.

Fuck. Got nothing done today. Tomorrow is mega finish biochem study day. MUST!

holidays!

Some assignments out of the way, holidays have started, i'm going to Sydney next week.. A jog now would do wonders but my laziness is getting the better of me. And it's cold too. I'd rather have a smoke but i've reached a point where I'm starting to question these decisions.

Smoke vs. A Jog. The former is beginning to disgust me, relative to the latter that is.

One and a half semesters so far and vet has been out of this world. Sometimes, the things you love make you cuss, swear, doubt yourself and tear your hair out. And sometimes, those same things bring you ridiculous amounts of happiness that give you that great bursting feeling in your chest. That's love isn't it? That's what vet's been like to me. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Studying's a drag but that's just a universal sentiment I can never run away from. Despite having to study 24/7 (which is what I.... haven't been doing), it's a small price to pay.

But apart from school, general happiness levels are at an all time high. I'm so happy I don't think about you anymore, effortlessly. No boy drama so far this semester, unlike the past 1.5 years and I hope it stays that way for whatever's left of it. Moved on the bigger and better things, holding myself back in ways I never used to.

Whenever I wanted something, I never waited around.. I just went for it. This was my mistake.. And it always hurt me in the end. But keep in mind the context.. I think in life we should never wait around for things to happen. We are the ones to make it happen. However, when it comes to matters of the heart, i'll start taking precautions now.

We'll see how this situation unravels. I predict a kick in the ass sometime in the future. I don't care if i'm a bitch now, i'm staying guarded.

simple days

I can safely say that now, I am A-Okay.

It's a good feeling I got going on. I'm well and truly happy. Spring is finally here, the weather's warming up and leaves are growing, so that might have something to do with it. But in all seriousness, the emo days are gone for good. I can't believe I let it affect me the way it did, very disappointing.

New developments have.. developed and i'm taking things one step at a time, while still going with the flow. The walls are built high but once I find something truly great, it'll be the stuff of legends.

I feel the need to shed. Ok that sounds weird, but rather.. the need to moult. Shed the sad, heartbroken, mildly depressed skin of before and be myself again. I know, I really need to get over myself right. But I don't quite know how? The depressing weather has made it all worse.

I feel like i'm being weighed down by what I was before, and i'm struggling to stand up and be the funbubble I used to be. I'm almost there, so close, yet so far. I thrive on meeting people and having fun and all i've been doing is sitting in bed but it's changing slowly. Today I had afternoon beers with Percy and Paul like the old times last year. The sun was out for about an hour or so and it was great. 2 jugs of beer turned into 5 :D

Spring starts next week. Winter's finally over with the start of the week at 18-19degrees. It's about fuckin' time. This weekend onwards, NEW ME! Starting with tomorrow's Into The Wild booze cruise down the Yarra. Gettin my mojo back, bit by bit.

Apart from recent injuries i've been feeling pretty good. My cast was just taken off, and although it's not 100%, I can do most day-to-day things without putting too much strain on my right hand. At the very least now I can write!

This week, I will study/do some form of work everyday excluding Wednesday (Paul's birthday surprise) and Saturday (work + ASAMI'S EP LAUNCH!). I sold 17 tickets to the launch. I swear I could've hit 30, but the gig's now sold out. So it's gonna be really really awesome.

Was supposed to go to work Saturday morning, but I passed out in the toilet. I got it going pretty rough I have to say. I even broke the glass toothbrush holder I bought, and I don't know how. But I heard it shatter as I fell. My head hit the door frame and I'm not sure at which point I blacked out. My head hurt so bad I had to miss work. Seriously... Am I suay or what? 2 days after I finally regain almost normal use of my hand, I injure my head (non-seriously).

Suayyy...

oh right hand, how i have missed you so...

THURSDAYYYY ALDFJSDFKLJDLKFJ I will be able to SHOWER like a normal person!

remember

Souviens toi, ce jour l, toi et moi

productive day is productive

....Somewhat.

I paid an overdue electricity bill (rates up by 25% WHAT IN PERFECT HELL :(( )

I cleared old papers and bills, and organised last semester's notes to the best of my one-armed ability. I have yet to file any of these notes which I should, but given my current situation, I can't.

I folded and put away my not-so-freshly laundered clothes. They were hung up to dry the past week and a half. Don't be fooled, it doesn't take that long to dry clothes in winter.

I filled out my work roster for 5 weeks starting 6th August. Money desperately needed, although at the expense of what little social life I already have. If I get all the shifts I requested, i'll have 14, which should make a sizeable bundle of moolah in preparation for my 2011 trip to London but knowing my arse luck i'll probably get around half that number. I must manage my time properly this semester.

Can't wait to get this fucking cast offfff..... 2 more weeks!!

yet again, the holidays are drawing to a close and it's back to the daily grind for the next 4 months. sad to say my cast will remain on for the first 2 weeks but thankfully it'll be taken off before the first major practical.

the next few days leading up to the first week of school will consist of heavy drinking and tidying up of the apartment. last week, shockingly enough, a first for me and it probably doesn't happen very often, i picked up with a conversation about dairy cattle, pasture and weather. in my defense, he was good looking, dressed well and smelt really good.

i don't quite know how often i'll come across sexy intelligent city men who grew up on farms out in the sticks, but heck, i relished the moment.

This is probably one of the most disturbing amazing videos i've ever seen.

hello my pretties, you shall be mine in due time (if the other bidder doesn't have a ridiculous reserve price)

i can't afford it but fuck it i don't care anymore.

this is shitshitshit

I never thought it'd ever happen. but i broke my wrist a week and a half ago.

2 days alone was pretty hard, today i can't even bring myself to get out of bed. it's 430pm and the sun's already starting to set. i've spent a stupid amount of money the past week so now i'm forced to derive new ways of cooking dinner.

my apartment is in an epic mess, and roti's made a royal mess of the bathroom. when paul followed me to the hospital the first time round he helped carry my jacket and bag out of what i thought was being really nice, only to turn around and say that i needed a boyfriend to do these things... albeit jokingly..

it struck a nerve and one week has passed and i need someone more than ever. i feel vulnerable in every sense and i really wanted to go back to singapore for the first time since i've been here but fuck me, the one time i want to go home, i can't.

i don't quite know what to do with my time.. i can't go out and shoot, missed out on 3 weeks of farmwork - i really wanted to see the lambing - can't go to a bar without feeling overly self conscious, and i really don't enjoy staying home for extended periods of time. garrr... and paul left today.. theres no one left!

My amazing bed now has a creak. And it's not the sort that creaks when you make obvious movements like getting in and out of bed, or turning in your sleep. It's a subtle creak, like when you make the slightest shifty movements in your sleep like moving your hand or adjusting your comforter or rubbing your foot on the mattress.

I believe that's the more annoying of the two.

It hasn't helped that sleep has been horrible lately. I find my ability to just sit and think increases with every thought. I could lie in bed for HOURS and think now. The second I get woken up abruptly in the morning, I start thinking. Even if i'm tired and want to go back to sleep, I think for another 2 hours. Thinking... Overthinking. It's exhausting me.

Maybe it's the feng shui of my room. Lately i've been thinking (so what's new) about changing things up a bit. Well not really, maybe just move a few posters around. I don't really know about feng shui anyway, i'm just talking out of my ass.

I feel I am, like everyone else, entitled to the simple things that make people happy. Ephraim berated me several weeks ago about the same thing i've been yapping and whinging about the past 2 months. He made me question why I was so unhappy with life in the first place, and that I don't need people to make me happy.... I should just do the things that make me happy and to be reliant on someone for that is pretty dangerous especially if they could just walk out on you at any time.

But i'm not asking for much. From waking up next to someone almost every other day to waking up to that empty space left behind has messed my head up in ways I can't explain. I guess maybe because it's something new to me, the novelty of it all was addictive. And let's face it, i'm addicted to warm fuzzies like hard drugs.

I suppose its more than that too. Just to be myself. The silly, cock-talking retard with someone who thinks its brilliant counts for a lot. I want to be my silly self with someone all the time.

All that aside... I was actually doing really well without all this as of late, focusing on exams and study, enjoying life and whatnot till I got his message and I felt a complete regression. Back to those stages of resentment of both him and myself.

He's completely incapable of hurting someone intentionally, but I can't be hanging on like this. It's hardly worth it anymore.

Exam time now. Once today's paper is over I will probably need an eternal nap before starting study on the next FOUR FUCKIN' PAPERS.

i am SO tired.

Exams start tomorrow. FINALLY. I just want to get this over with and do nothing for several weeks. All this studying has been a serious brain drain and I will continue to complain about this for the next 3.5 years. So you have been warned.

But anyway, it's winter now and it's starting to suck less than it did a week ago. Only because I gave myself the night off on Tuesday and Saturday to give my brain a well-deserved break.

Anyway, on to less boring things. My dad, en route to Canada decided to stop by London to visit Aresha. This is the photo that shames all tourist photos;

CAPTAIN GOPAL GOES TO LONDON (FEATURING WELL SEASONED POT BELLY)

Complete with the hat from Down Undah!

perfection

Why. Why are things not staying in my head after studying them for hours. My brain is like a sieve.

3 more days to exams, 2 weeks to sweet bliss.

During big study periods, one should never neglect taking care of their skin (I never bother).

So after taking a lovely long hot shower I put on a face mask and came up with the brilliant idea of calling someone on skype and scaring the living shit out of them.

And THEN I realised it's now 3am and hardly anyone will be up this late on a Sunday.

Oh well.

This past week of hardcore studying is doing my head in. The last time I left the house was on Friday for end of semester drinks. Yikes. Despite the unspoken rule of SWOT VAC week of turning into a complete shut-in, I will be taking a break on Sunday to go see Ephraim and his band jam it out (feat. MY DJEMBE :D). At least it's being put to some use. I wish I had another one so people can come over and we can dish out beats together.

Another post-exam plan has cropped up. Thanks to Bidina and her resourcefulness, she's found tickets to Sydney on Tiger Airways for $20 each way. It's unconfirmed but it'll be one hell of a trip flying there with just a passport and wallet and coming back the next day hopefully in one piece.

The adventures that have transpired the past 6 months have been mindblowing. Let's see what the next 6 months have in storeee....

mmmm

Skins Season 4 on Youtube yay yay yay yayayayayayayyyay exams in a week and a half nonononnoo

whoa 3 posts in a day

SO. This is what it's come to. How i've chosen to deal with heartbreak, is to simply avoid it.

The way i'm avoiding it may not be the most ideal. Heck, it's definitely not. But it's not hurting anyone, i'm not hurting myself and everyone wins. I'm just tired of all the bullshit.

Let's see where this'll take me.

But in the meantime, it's crunch time at the moment. So time to study first.

summertime in france

2011.

Fuck I hate winter.

do you have the chops to be a vet?

Then answer the following questions.

Appropriate personal protective equipment (clothing) for working with beef cattle includes:

Shorts, singlet and sports shoes to assist you in rounding up the cattle at maximum speed substantial work boots, overalls and a hat in hot weather. swim wear as it is easier to hose yourself down at the end of the day rather than it is to try and wash cattle faeces, etc. off of your overalls base ball cap worn backwards to prevent hitting your head on overhead steel bars on the cattle crush operating handle.

The bare midriff look is appropriate for working on farms for both male and female veterinary students in summer since this type of dress:

prevents you from getting heat exhaustion during the hot weather, prevents your clothing from being snagged on any exposed bolt or wire around the cattle yards, this preceding statement is incorrect, the bare midriff look is inappropriate dress for farm work prevents excessive washing of overalls

When holding a gate for drafting cattle you should: Concentrate on what is occurring in the yards, looking at the person moving cattle and monitoring individual animals behaviour in the yard Just watch what is happening in the immediate vicinity of the person working with the cattle Turn your back on the gate for periods of time to chat with other people and/or daydream about the upcoming weekend Let go of the gate and turn your back if there is anything that distracts you. When injecting vaccine into sheep, if you accidentally vaccinate yourself you should: Panic and run screaming round the sheep yard Use a knife to cut the area open where you injected yourself and try to suck out the vaccine Read the packet and label insert and check what the manufacturer directs you to do in the case of inadvertent self-innoculation, then consult your doctor if required. Not worry about it According to Worksafe and the Victorian Government, the most frequent cause of fatal accidents for people on farms in Victoria is:

The tractor or all terrain vehicle (four wheel motor-bike) Agricultural motor bike Artificially-reared Friesian, Jersey or Ayrshire bull Bottle reared adult pet ram. Neurotic hen with a taste for blood Disclaimer : This quiz in no shape or form should determine whether or not you should become a vet.